


Infinite Reflections

by QuagmireQueen



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crossover, Enterprise can save anything, F/M, Five Year Mission, Fix-It, Just badass people all around, M/M, Minor James T. Kirk/Spock, Post-Rogue One, Post-Star Trek Beyond, Rogue One Crew as Starfleet Officers, Slow Build, Transporter Malfunction, blaster fights, including Star Wars verse, necessary angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2018-09-11 06:14:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8961607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuagmireQueen/pseuds/QuagmireQueen
Summary: ---Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor turn to stardust on Scarif.Then stardust reassembles, because the transporter on the Enterprise has a tendency to malfunction and Mirror Universes are fickle things.Bones has nerve-induced aneurysms.---





	1. Beam Me Up

**Author's Note:**

> So I've not written fic in 6 years. It may become obvious. Also this was typed out in a Christmas holiday burst and was not BETA'd, so sorry guys.
> 
> This story was born of the same monster that made every other person spend the entire night post-watching Rogue One writing Jyn/Cassian fics. Their chemistry was, for lack of a better word, explosive. 
> 
> This makes me happy because I get to have some Enterprise crew love and OF COURSE the transporter malfunctions. Bones gets to worry about everyone, Jim and Spock make lovey-dovey eyes at each other and Scotty is just awesome.
> 
> Oh and since I have no time to write after Christmas this fic will be the death of me. But I will, oh I will.

 

The horizon flared, sending shockwaves through the planet-wide ocean of Scarif. Jyn felt her legs finally give out, Cassian collapsing beside her like a broken limb, attached and yet incapable of holding them up. She wished she could be numb, to uncouple herself from the oncoming rush of death, from the fear, the endless cycle of thoughts that threatened to drown her before the deadly wall of light ever did.

_What if we failed what if the message never got out and this was all for nothing…_

Regardless, her body remained sentient, struggling desperately in these final moments to push blood through her veins faster, as though her heart were trying to squeeze as many beats into one as it could, live out the last seconds as though they were the hours and years she’d never have. She was acutely aware of Cassian next to her, could almost hear the blood pulsing through his veins just as forcefully. They were both fighters, both incapable of letting go and giving up even with the fight so surely over. She was glad to have him there, in those final moments, even though it meant that both of them would soon be stardust.

“Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn.”

She looked at Cassian’s smiling face and felt her fear dissipate as she reached out to place her smaller hand in his. It was like taking a warm sip of her mother’s tea on a cold night at the farm, the way the heat began in her heart and inched through to the tips of her fingers and finally made her smile. The brightness on the horizon now seemed like a spectacular sunrise, the dawn of a new age where the Empire didn’t seem so powerful and dark, where her father’s gentle face and caring hands would carry her around in a home that would never need abandoning.

Somehow, they managed to get to their feet. Cassian embraced Jyn with a fervent _something_ that seemed all-consuming in this hyper-state of life that they both now experienced, facing away from the brilliant light and burying his face in her shoulder, but Jyn stared straight at it, suddenly fascinated by the sheer beauty of such tantamount destruction. It danced before her eyes as Cassian sighed into her skin and she could feel her body become lighter and lighter as the glaring wall approached—

\---

—and suddenly darkness and sound, unfamiliar and definitely out of place supplanted it. She gasped, the only constant in her utter disorientation being Cassian’s grip around her torso, his breath still mingling with her shoulder as he jolted through the transition, sensing rather than seeing that something was wrong.

“Jyn, Cassian! What in the Galaxy’s name just happened here?”

Her vision came into focus, the glare of the wall of fire she’d been staring at replaced suddenly by much dimmer, electrical lighting with glass and metal surroundings. Cassian’s grip on her relaxed (but only slightly) as he lifted his head and she saw a look of confusion and wonder on his face.

“If this is the Afterlife then it sure is a strange one.” he muttered, his gaze wandering around the room they were in before landing on her face “You’re here, Jyn.”

She could only stare. Before her mind could catch up with what was happening, her eyes caught movement over Cassian's shoulder, where a commotion appeared to be happening behind a glass wall. A man in a bright red uniform threw open a door and almost fell over in his rush to get to them before straightening up and catching each of their arms in a tight grip. He had a kind face which was twisted with worry and a light mop of hair gracing his head. Jyn noticed his red shirt had a strange insignia on the left side, not one that she could recognise.

“Oh thank goodness you two are alright! Something strange happened during the beaming and there was a bright flash of light and the walls of the transporter beam shook something awful! We were worried it had malfunctioned and that it may have scrambled yer signals and, er, what in heaven’s name are you wearing?”

Before either of them could even contemplate the question, they were suddenly joined by another man, this time in a bright yellow uniform with the same insignia on his chest. His breathing was ragged as though he’d run there from a good distance and he placed a hand on the first man’s shoulder with the same confusion apparent on his face as he appraised the two Rebels. He looked younger, with bright blue eyes that reminded Jyn of her own and Cassian’s, eyes that had seen far too much far too early.

“Erso, Andor, what happened during the beam-up?”

Jyn felt that she probably looked as bewildered as she felt. She looked to Cassian, who didn’t seem to be faring any better. He shrugged helplessly, but she could see the stiff set in his shoulders.

“What is this place?” she asked. “What happened on Scarif?”

The man in yellow narrowed his eyes.

“What are you—“

Before he could finish his sentence, Cassian groaned and slumped down on the ground. Jyn crouched down beside him, being careful with her own injured leg which suddenly made itself known after the initial shock wore off. She helped him up into a position on her lap, trying to assess his injuries before she felt a gentle touch on her arm.

“It’s alright lassie, let us help him to the medbay, there’s nothing you can do fer him or yerself here.”

She looked up at the red-shirted man suspiciously, but the ragged breathing of her companion made her grudgingly release her hold on him, allowing the two strangers to help Cassian up to his feet. The yellow-shirt turned to her and she could see wariness mixed in with copious worry in his eyes as he noticed her leg.

At that moment, a number of other strangely dressed humanoids marched into the room and yellow-shirt motioned towards her, instructing her to be helped to their medbay. She considered her options, deciding finally to cooperate, as the people did not seem hostile and as far as she knew, had not shown any ill-intent towards herself or Cassian.

She was helped up by a blue-skinned stranger in a blue uniform and he supported her in limping after Cassian and the others. Her eyes flitted around the long, clean corridors they were being led through as she could not help but let the curiosity and suspicion consume her. Now that the initial shock had died down, she began to truly wonder what had happened on Scarif, to Chirrut and Baze and Bodhi and the rest of Rogue One. Surely this could not be the afterlife. Both her and Cassian were still injured and the surroundings didn’t exactly yell ‘Eternal Place of Rest’. Did the rest of the crew end up here too? And why was it that these people seemed to know her name and yet she knew nothing of them?

She wondered for the hundredth time about the Death Star plans and prayed to the Force that they be delivered to the Rebellion. She prayed for Chirrut and Baze and Bodhi and K2-SO. More than anything, she prayed that she should not be separated from Cassian, for he was the one familiar face in this sea of uncertainty and confusion.

And Jyn did not just pray- she planned. She committed to memory the route that they were taken on, the exact floor that was pressed in the elevator, the signs and symbols throughout the building. She noticed that everyone wore the same uniform in three colours: blue, red and a very occasional yellow. There did not seem to be soldiers around, but she did notice a few people carrying what appeared to be blasters, so they were not altogether peaceful. Those that they passed along the corridors eyed her and Cassian with a mix of surprise and worry, although the strangest occurrence was the few people that seemed to notice them and _wave_. As though they were familiar with her!

Finally, when the pain in her leg was beginning to reach unbearable levels and she was sure Cassian was about to lose consciousness entirely, they reached what could only be considered the medbay. She was dismayed at the lack of bacta tanks and then further disconcerted by the lack of pretty much _anything_ she could recognise from a standard medbay. They were met immediately by a loud and seemingly very angry man.

“What’s the matter with you Jim? You made them walk all the way to the medbay from the transporter room without bothering to get stretchers? And where the hell’ve Erso and Andor been anyway, to end up in this state? Here, get’em into the beds, stat! Chapel, get the tricorders and some A-grade pain-killers, Mr. Andor here looks like the first thing his body needs is a good rest and some food. I swear I don’t remember either of them being this skinny during their last medical.”

She felt herself being led, very gently, to one of the beds in the room. It was so much softer than anything she remembered sleeping in for many years and it was blissful to get the weight off her injured leg. She was exhausted, but the adrenaline helped keep her awake for which she could only be grateful, because no matter how comfortable these strangers seemed with her, she wouldn’t trust them as far as she could throw them until she would understand where they were and what had happened.

“I don’t know, Bones. They were down on Jalta 5, scouting out the city with other officers before we’d send an official landing party to greet the Government, but while the others beamed back fine, there seemed to be some strange interference during Erso and Andor’s beam and suddenly here they were, injured, tired and seemingly not aware of who or where they are.” The yellow-shirted man sighed an rubbed his face. “I don’t wanna jinx this but it reminds me of that Mirror Universe incident a year ago. If these guys are from that hellhole, who knows what havoc they could wreak here if we don’t watch them.”

“Well they ain’t wreaking any havoc in this state, that’s for sure. And they ain’t wearing no loony sash and carrying daggers around like it was Christmas, so I think we’re safe.”

The angry man known as Bones strode purposefully to Jyn’s bed and lowered some sort of bleeping device over her leg. She sat up, making a grab for the doctor’s arm but was caught by the yellow-shirt man (Jim?) before she could. He gave her a serious look before nodding to Bones, who continued slowly waving the device over her body without ever touching it.

“Officer Erso, I understand that you’re disoriented, but Dr. McCoy here means you no harm. You and Mr. Andor are in need of serious medical attention and I swear on my life you’ll not get hurt while you’re on my ship.”

She was taken aback by the concern in his voice and decided to obey, allowing the doctor to continue uninterrupted. She looked over to Cassian who was being tended to by the nurse and another medic. His eyes were closed but his chest heaved with heavy breaths and she clenched her teeth, wishing for the thousandth time to feel less helpless.

“Relax, kiddo, he’ll be fine.” said Bones as he stared at the device in his hands. He then brought it up to her face and she grimaced at the unwelcome closeness. “Tell me, how much do you remember about what happened?”

She wondered about what to tell them. How much did they know? There had been no sign of anything Empire _or_ Resistance related in the short timespan since she’d appeared on what was, apparently, Jim’s starship. Did they know about the Death Star? Were they in league with the Empire or the Rebellion or some other faction? She immediately decided against telling them about their mission on Scarif, because she couldn’t risk even the smallest chance of the information getting to the Empire. She did not want to share the fact that her and Cassian were from the Resistance either and although they obviously knew her name already, she’d keep quiet about her father.

“I don’t really know. We were caught in a battle planetside and got injured. Before we knew what was happening, there was a mass explosion the likes of which I’ve never seen somewhere in the distance. The last thing I remember is the two of us watching the shockwave approaching with no escape. We thought we were dead.”

“And what do you remember from before then?” Jim asked, his brow furrowing.

“We’re nothing but travellers, scavengers. We do not align ourselves with anyone. We just happened to be caught in a battle. It was probably the Empire and the Rebels, but we don’t usually concern ourselves with these things until a blaster shot comes our way.”

There, she hoped that the story would hold up at least until they got healed well enough to escape if things went South. She wanted to ask the man about their involvement in her and Cassian’s insane survival, but she was wary of revealing more than she wanted to.

“Empire? Rebels? The Jyn and Cassian I know both have homes on planets and families that wait for them to come back during their time off. Either you two have lost your memories or…”

At this Jim pulled out what she could guess was a communicator of some sort and spoke into it: _Commander Spock, Lieutenant Uhura please report to the medbay_.

“… Or you could be from a Mirror Universe, a parallel like the one we visited. But our experience with parallel Universes is far more limited than I’d like and I still have no way of knowing you’re not just a really good impostor with a terrible backstory. Jalta 5 isn’t exactly Federation-friendly.”

Jyn’s mind was still in shock at the word _families_. She tried desperately to understand what the Captain of her new prison had said to her but the weariness and pain were nearing breaking point. She glanced worriedly again to Cassian, who seemed to be breathing a lot more calmly now and tried to reassure herself that Jim had promised not to harm them and that was the best she could hope for. Besides, she could still fight her way out if need be, she was still aware of her surroundings and she could probably make it to a blaster before-

She heard a small hiss and felt a sting in her arm. She looked up at the apologetic face of Bones as he pulled away a syringe-like object and cleaned it. She wanted to cry out but she was feeling far too drowsy, sinking slowly into a blissful oblivion, her muscles lax.

“I’m sorry but you two need your sleep and Jim needs to know the ship is safe with you aboard. I promise to take care of you and your boyfriend over there, I swear on my honour as a doctor. Now get some rest and heal up, Ms. Erso.”

She fought it to the end, but she had never encountered a drug this potent. Her last thoughts went to Rogue One, to the poor souls lost on Scarif and to the last embrace she’d had in a world where everything made sense.

_Please, Cassian. Please be there when I wake up._

 


	2. A Rude Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is posted in celebration of procrastinating uni work during the holidays.
> 
> Again, sorry for the lack of BETAing and general rushed writing, but it's the plot bunnies which run away with themselves.
> 
> And thank you all so much for the feedback!

Cassian woke up to silence with the ringing sound of death still echoing through his head.

His arms, all at once, felt empty. _Jyn Erso is alive_. His body was sluggish and he realised, after trying to lift an arm, that he was tied down to a bed with restraints. So much for a good start to the day.

Memories and thoughts flooded his head, disjointed and loud. A wall of light, small hands holding onto him desperately, an elevator descending slowly into what he knew was _The End. I’m not alone in the End._ Bodhi and Chirrut and Baze and K-2SO, _Oh K2, what did they do to you?_ lying on Scarif, empty eyes staring up at the sky, at the beacon of hope that their mission granted the Rebellion. He remembered closing his eyes, breathing in and holding onto Jyn, happy beyond words that she was there with him and angrier than he’d ever been that the days, the hours he could have had in which she might have looked into his eyes again, like she had in the elevator, hours in which he could have asked her what her favourite food was or places he could take her that she’d never been, those hours were nothing but a fantasy his mind eagerly clung to in the moments he knew he had left.

And then they were alive and breathing, strange men surrounding them in stranger surroundings. Cassian couldn’t remember much of what happened after his body flared up in agonizing pain soon after and his mind became numb, but he did remember Jyn Erso and the eyes he’d told himself he’d never see again. The final thoughts of a dying man now rattled around in his head, the _what ifs_ and _could haves_ he’d realised tormenting his thoughts because it was all well and good to be caught up in the moment, knowing that the fantasies were probably his own brain’s way of giving himself comfort. It was an entirely different notion when those fantasies slammed head-first into a wall of reality.

Cassian’s awareness of his surroundings grew like a forest fire and dim voices floated to his deaf ears. He attempted to open his eyes but stopped, catching a snippet of the conversation.

“… know Jyn, we’ve had lunch together in the mess hall. She’s a kind, carefree soul. This Jyn looks like she’s been through a war and _worse_.” a woman’s voice drifted from somewhere further away.

“The important question is whether or not we can trust them, Captain. If they have indeed lost their memories, then the state they are in cannot be explained through the stories of the rest of their landing party, who saw them moments before beaming up. It is logical to assume that something must have happened in between their last moments on the planet and their re-assembly on the ship.”

“I know, Spock. I keep getting this feeling that they’re not the Officers we’re all familiar with. But the medical shows that they are, in every way, Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor, if a little rougher around the edges according to Bones. The only plausible explanation I can think of based on past experience is that they are from a Mirror ‘verse, but it could be a whole new ballgame for all we know.”

There was a deep sigh and Cassian strained to hear as the man’s voice became quiet.

“I don’t know if we can trust them, but they’re injured and they’ve not hostile towards anyone. For now. The story that Jyn told is so bizarre that I doubt they were sent here to infiltrate the Enterprise, else they haven’t done their homework in making it believable. I’d say we keep them confined until we find out more about them. Spock, if we decide that they could be a danger, will you be willing to use the mind-meld to extract information?”

“Yes, Captain, although I suggest it only if necessary as the procedure is quite intrusive and I would rather not perform it when their minds are still recovering.”

“Yeah no shit it’s intrusive.” The other man laughed as the group lapsed into silence.

Cassian dared to open his eyes, squinting immediately at the light. His surroundings were unfamiliar, something resembling a medbay and yet something entirely different. The bunk he lay on was comfortable, more comfortable than he ever remembered. He glanced around and saw three people staring straight at him with guarded looks from across the room- two men and a woman, all dressed in bright coloured uniforms with strange insignia on their chests.  But his eyes were drawn to the bed beside his, in which lay…

“Jyn.” He groaned, his body stiff from the pain and lack of mobility. He knew he still couldn’t move due to the restraints but he damn well tried to.

“Officer Andor?”

Cassian looked up as the small party approached his bed, a fourth man joining them in a rush through a nearby doorway. He stopped right next to Cassian and began waving some sort of device over his entire body, which, to no one’s surprise, made the Rebel Captain pretty ill-disposed. But when nothing else seemed to happen, Cassian relaxed back into his bunk and allowed himself to examine the people standing above him.

“I’m no officer.” he said and his voice came out as a rasp. “What happened to us? Who are you?”

The strangers looked at each other and the man in the yellow shirt turned to him.

“You are aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise, a Federation Ship. In our records you serve here on a five-year mission to explore the Galaxy, an Officer Cassian Andor. You were born on a settlement planet called Kaytoo and joined Starfleet at the age of 16. Based on our latest information, you were sent planetside to Jalta 5 together with Officer Erso and six others to scout out the cities for any hostility before a landing party would be sent to greet the government. While every other member of the landing party beamed back without difficulties, during your trip there appeared to be a malfunction.”

Jalta 5? Beaming? Federation? Cassian’s confusion and suspicion only grew as the man continued speaking. So far he had not heard anything concerning the Empire or the Death Star, but for all he knew this could all just be an elaborate trap set up to get information out of him.

“Your injuries are inexplicable to us and as far as we know, both of you were completely fine before the beaming process. My theory thus far is that you two are from a Mirror Universe, a parallel world where Jyn and Cassian led very different lives. Ms. Erso already gave us a story which seems to at least make the theory more likely, but we need confirmation from you in order to make sure you’re not spies or enemies.”

Cassian’s worry grew as the man continued to speak. If his theory were true, then they had somehow appeared, through this process called ‘beaming’, in a completely different universe instead of their counterparts of this world. But if so, then where did these counterparts end up? What kind of world was this, in which he was an officer aboard a starship and no one seemed to worry about the Empire?

And what could he possibly tell this man?

“I do not know how much I should trust you.” began Cassian wearily. “You have me restrained and my friend is unconscious. I have no idea how I got here or why and I do not recognise any of the places you speak of. For all I know you could be working for the Empire and trying to get information out of me.”

The man with a pallid complexion and pointy ears stepped forward. He was unlike any creature Cassian had met before, but then again he’d not met every alien in the Galaxy.

“Captain, might it be prudent, given the situation, to use the mind-meld? Perhaps establishing trust in one direction would be more useful than no trust at all on either side. I will attempt to make it as unintrusive as my control allows.”

The man he could now recognise as the Captain looked pensive for a moment before nodding. The pointy-eared man stepped closer to Cassian and he stiffened, ready to try everything he could to get away if the need arose. He clenched his teeth as the man placed his hand on Cassian’s face and—

“My mind to your mind.”

_My thoughts to your thoughts._

_I am Commander Spock of the Enterprise. Do not be afraid. This is a mind-meld, a direct link between our minds that allows me to better communicate with you. We do not wish to harm you and I promise to leave any thoughts you desire to yourself. Before I ask you to show your version of events, allow me to show you ours._

Information and images began to circuit through Cassian’s mind, just slow enough for him to keep up and yet too fast to consider. He saw a giant starship, men and women in uniforms working. He saw himself, clean-shaven and young and whole, in a way he’d never known himself to be. He saw and immediately understood the transporter beam and filtered through a hundred and one stories of travels and planets and, above all, an overwhelming _peace_. This was not a universe without war, but it was nothing compared to the dirt and hostility of the Empire and the Rebellion. He understood that the Captain- Jim Kirk- was from a planet called Earth and that Spock was from Vulcan.

Finally, the flow of information slowed and he watched as Captain Kirk gave out orders for a landing party to go down to Jalta 5. His heart sped as he recognised Jyn, who stood on the opposite side of the room to his other self, clean and healthier than he’d ever seen her look, without the haunting pierce of her darkened eyes. But that wasn’t all.

He recognised Bodhi too, so very different in his Starfleet uniform and without the both haunting and haunted look in his eyes. He saw Chirrut, still blind and still so much the Chirrut he knew in his proud, smiling stance. Baze too was there, his long hair replaced by a military cut, his broad shoulders towering over the rest of the crew. There were others there, people he didn’t recognise, but it was the sight of the very heart of Rogue One, alive and well again, that had Cassian shaking, his hearbeat running away from him as though he were faced with the Death Star’s wall of destruction yet again.

_There is something that troubles you._

Spock’s voice had a twinge of concern in its stoicism and Cassian attempted to calm himself down. If he believed these memories to be true, then himself and Jyn were stuck in this world in which no threat of the Empire existed and where a benevolent Federation dedicated itself to exploration and the occasional confrontation with a hostile force. If he believed them, then the most likely thing to have happened was that the happy and healthy Cassian and Jyn took their place in the Death Star’s inferno and he felt unbidden grief well up inside him because in that moment, he believed the story thoroughly. He would have wanted these alternate versions of themselves, untainted by war and blood, to live out their lives as they had always been meant to.

Instead, here were broken versions of those people, who’d already resigned themselves to death and yet lived instead. He remembered the prayers he’d sent to the Force in those last moments of breath he thought he’d had, but now he would gladly take the fate assigned to them and slam his blood-inked book shut.

_I can sense your distress. If you would share with me what you can of your memories, it would help us determine whether or not we can trust you and Officer Erso. I understand your trepidation, but we cannot allow either of you to be free on board the ship if we do not know your intentions. I am fully capable of extracting them from your mind by force but I do not wish to do that if you mean us no harm._

Every fibre in Cassian’s body rebelled against the idea of revealing his thoughts to a stranger. Years of training and experience with the Resistance had taught him that information was worth everything and the moment the enemy held any of it against you, you were a goner. But beyond that was his absolute and utter inability to trust anyone, grown from the fertile grounds of loneliness, bloodshed and regrets. _Anyone except Jyn_ his mind whispered and he slammed the thought away as soon as it formed.

There was no choice. He had to trust Spock because there was no other option. Either way the thoughts could be taken from him and he knew, in his heart, that if it were the Empire that had them, they wouldn’t bother with the theatrics and would simply torture the information out of them. He thought of the incredible story that he’d just learned and realised that he wanted it to be _true_.

\---

 “Fascinating.” muttered Spock as he finally lifted his hand from Cassian’s face. The rebel captain’s eyes flew open and he attempted to sit up only to be caught by the restraints and forced back onto the bed.

“Spock you’d better not be going around crippling my patients.”

“That was…” Cassian blinked a few times before allowing the tension in his muscles to relax. Spock lowered his head.

“I apologise, Captain Andor, the effects of the mind-meld can be quite… intense for those that have not had the experience in the past.”

“ _Captain_ Andor?”

“Yes Captain, it appears as though this man is indeed from a parallel Universe. However, unlike our previous encounters with our counterparts, this Universe has taken a tragically different path, one that is unrecognisable to us in any form, an iteration so far away from our branch that there are almost no similarities. None, that is, except for the people known as Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor and possibly other small coincidences. Their galaxy is ravaged by a tyrannical dictatorship, the ‘Empire’ as Cassian has referred to previously. Both Captain Andor and Ms. Erso are, or rather were, a part of the Resistance, a movement that has been opposing the Empire for many years.”

“So you’re a rebel.” James Kirk grinned at Cassian. “I’m thinking we could get along. What about _our_ Jyn and Cassian then? Can we swap everyone back like last time?”

Spock was about reply but he was cut short by Cassian, whose eyes were suddenly clouded in shadow, his face twisted in something pained and angry as he spat out:

“They’re dead. If what I understood from Commander Spock is right, we were caught in your beam’s malfunction at the exact moment that the Empire’s wrath would have finally claimed us. There would have been no escape. And now there is no way for us to go back.”


	3. An Old Purpose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, somehow I still find time to write this. This story has a life of its own now, there's no stopping it. Get ready for some galactic adventuring.
> 
> Thank you all so much for the kudos and feedback!!

Jim Kirk paced the meeting room grimly, his normally open, friendly posture reduced to a stiff, violent one, his fists balled up as though they would somehow contain the frustration welling up inside him.

“Dammit Spock! How many more lives do we have to lose like this? How many more obituaries do I have to write without being able to tell their families why or how they died?”

He paused, gripping the edge of the table and allowing his head to sink. His voice lowered an octave as he spoke.

“How do I tell Jyn Erso’s father that the woman who looks exactly like his daughter is not the same girl he carried around when she was five years old? How do I explain to Cassian Andor’s sister that the man she’s waiting to see for Christmas is a stranger? I will never regret the fact that two people, two brave and good people who would have died are now alive, but fuck, Spock, does it have to be at the expense of two others?”

Spock inclined his head and walked over, placing his hand on the Captain’s shoulder, an action that would have been as alien to him as laughter before the Enterprise became his home and James Kirk became his courage.

“There is nothing we could have done, Jim. It is illogical to feel regret for something one cannot change. Had officers Erso and Andor given their lives on a mission to save two others, the result would be the same.”

Jim sighed “I know Spock. I know. Sometimes I hate how much you make sense. Makes me seem like an utter moron.” But he smiled, grasping Spock’s hand on his shoulder and sending a green flush to the tips of the Vulcan’s ears. “What should we do with our guests? I don’t know if it’s a good idea to release them into the wild yet, when everyone still thinks they’re part of the crowd. You’ve been into his head, what do you think?”

 “I… must admit I am fascinated by their universe. There are many things I have yet to understand, as Captain Andor only shared some select memories and explanations. But I believe in their abilities to function in this universe. They appear to have knowledge of a myriad of different cultures and races, food, lifestyle and languages, but they are human, in every other way. As far as I could understand, their values are like those of the Federation, their basic needs and emotions as well.”

Spock paused, seemingly struggling with himself.

“I would speak to them about their universe, if you would allow, Captain. There are many interesting facets to such an existential experiment.”

“ _Jim_ , Spock. Cut the Captain crap.” Jim grinned, feeling the knots in his stomach about his two officers loosen slightly. “And I’ll admit I’m curious as hell about it too. Though we have to be careful with them. By the sounds of it, they’ve only ever lived at war and people like that can become calculating and cruel, no matter the cause they fight for. We shouldn’t let our guard down and we shouldn’t give them cause to turn against us.”

Jim moved to leave the room and Spock moved to follow, ever in sync, wondering when his only natural stance was behind these broad shoulders, that seemed to carry the weight of the universe on them.

“We should have a shipwide announcement and a debrief of the situation. There’s no use keeping it secret since Jyn and Cassian’s friends will want to see them and there’s no way we can keep this under the rug. We’ll let them walk free on the ship if you believe we can trust them, but I’ll make sure to take some precautions.” Jim turned to face Spock when they stopped at the elevator. His blue eyes hid regrets and concerns and images of it danced on the surface, as though they were an ocean with a dark treasure buried beneath, refracting its outlines and leaving the rest to mystery. “As for what we do about their families and their future… we’ll just have to figure it out as we go.”

And he turned away to step into the now open elevator, leaving Spock to grapple with the vicious need to touch, to see into the golden mind he’d only ever glimpsed before, beneath the surface of that blue ocean. But this was not something Spock was unused to and he followed behind, not a twitch revealing his struggle.

\---

Cassian fingered the datapad-lookalike in his bruised hands, fiddling with the touchscreen as his thoughts slowly attempted to align themselves into something that could function. His restraints had been removed following his conversation with Captain Kirk but Jyn’s remained in place as she slept, courtesy of Dr. McCoy’s apprehension- _I’ve been a doctor on this ship long enough to know the merits of keeping my patients from destroying this ship and she ain’t gonna forgive the hypo any time soon_.

He’d been allowed access to any public data stores the Federation owned and had begun pouring over Starfleet’s history. This universe was beyond anything he’d ever imagined, so alien in its relative prosperity and yet so familiar in its diversity and conflicts. He kept expecting to wake up, to find that this world, Scarif and even Jyn were all just a dream, but every continued breath was a reminder of the strange reality he found himself in.

He glanced over at the bed beside his (as he’d done periodically since the moment he’d woken up, just to make sure, just to see her there) and allowed himself to be entranced by the relaxed expression on Jyn’s face, unmarred by sharp edges of worry and defiance. She looked so fragile, her puckered lips slightly ajar, her matted hair falling in a halo around her face.

He thought: _she’s so young_. In the space of a few days she’d lost her father and probably all the people she’d ever learned to care for. Their world had never been kind to her, had taken everything away and yet she’d kept going, marching through the galaxy like a soldier, fighting and dying on the battlefield. Would it have been better for them to simply disappear into history on that beach on Scarif? They were both prisoners of their purpose and the freedom that this new opportunity, this new universe afforded was as alien as whatever came after death. All they had to cling onto that was familiar was each other.

A swell of terrible affection took hold of him. He wanted to put his arms around her, feel them encompassing her slender frame like when Scarif’s surface disintegrated around them, to protect her from the uncertainty they both faced. He didn’t know what it was to look after something precious, something fragile. For most of his life all he’d known was blood and battle and deceit, a complete and utter suppression of emotions that boiled inside him like the magma beneath a planet’s surface. Cassian _felt_ , he was born sentimental, but his work with the Resistance had carved a shell so thick around that softness that he’d forgotten what it was to care for someone.

And now he’d somehow ended up in a world where the only thing he had left to care about was stubborn, brave, indomitable Jyn Erso.

She’d laugh at him if she knew.

As he looked on Jyn made a small, sleepy sound. Her eyelids fluttered. For a moment, he was afraid she’d wake up and see him watching and he turned his head back to the pad on his lap, feeling foolish.

“Cassian…” she muttered and his head snapped back as she frowned and her eyes finally flickered open.

She shot up- at least as far as she could before the restraints sent her rocketing back onto the bed. Her eyes hid a hint of panic as she struggled before they landed on his.

“Cassian.” she breathed and it was relief and worry and a burning question all at once.

He made to get out of his bunk but a sudden, searing pain through his spine was warning enough (the doctor’s colourful threats would not have dissuaded him) and he hissed, doubling over before he could get his leg onto the ground.

“Are—“

“ ‘m alright.” He cut her off, resignedly lying back down onto the bunk. “It’s not every day you survive the destruction of a planet with nothing worse than a bad fall.”

He could feel her concern and her _questions_. They saturated the room like a mist, drowning out his awareness of anything else.

“What… what happened? Where are we? Who were those people? And _why_ \- “ this part carried some trademark indignation “- can’t I _move_?”

Cassian considered his options and then considered her face. He pushed himself up, wincing as his back howled in pain and swung his legs out onto the floor. He could see her protesting eyes and caught her with a pointed look before she could say anything.

“Let me.” He muttered as he focused on ignoring the now-dimming pain. “I’ll be fine.”

He knelt down laboriously and fumbled to find the mechanism under her bunk that would set her free. His fingers brushed against a keypad and he pressed the first button he could find, hoping against hope that it would be the right one. He was rewarded with a gasp and suddenly, she was leaning over, helping him up to his feet and throwing her arms around his shoulders.

“Thank you.” she whispered as she buried her face in his neck.

They stayed like that, a silent prayer passing between the two, until finally, reluctantly, she pulled away and Cassian leaned against his bunk and breathing heavily. According to McCoy, he’d be in walking shape in about a week and the last thing he wanted was to extend that period.

“Jyn…” he sighed. Then he laughed. She was here, with him, alive. Right now, there was nothing out there to take her away, no Empire to fear, no wall of fire incinerating the horizon. “You won’t believe where the Force delivered us.”

So he told her.

Jyn listened in silence as he spoke of universes and beaming and the Enterprise, occasionally clarifying a detail with a question ( _So there is no Force in this universe? No Kyber?_ ), knowing that she did not have the luxury (or the extreme disorientation) that came with a mindmeld. He told her of their hosts, of Kirk and Spock and Uhura and McCoy and finally, when he could put it off no longer, told her about the people whose lives they had replaced. He went quiet then, realising he hadn’t truly believed it himself until the time had come to admit it as truth.

Jyn’s face had been stony throughout the story, her usual stubbornness working as a safety net, keeping her emotions in check, but she wavered at the mention of her other self.

“She had a family.” She whispered. “A father and a mother, a _home_.”

“I know.” Cassian’s hand reached out until it bumped against her knuckles and she grasped it, clinging on to him as though she were drowning. “I know.”

Jyn’s eyes were brimming with tears. He’d not seen her like that since he’d dragged her away from her father, _faster, he’s gone, there’s no need for you to disappear too, come on, RUN_.

“We have to go back.”

He stared. “What?”

“We have to go back,” she repeated “To our universe.”

Cassian couldn’t understand, couldn’t grasp what she was saying. They were safe, safe from the Empire, free to live their lives as they’d never been able to. He had nothing to go back to. Rogue One were gone, his family had been gone for as long as he could remember. This was the first moment he could be _free_ and isn’t this what she’d always wanted? Freedom? No Resistance, no fighting, just _life_.

“I want to finish what my father started. I can’t take over the life of someone that’s lived it the way I wanted to. I’ll never fit in here.” She looked at him, her gaze searching “I don’t know what it is to not fight for my life. The Resistance gave me purpose and I can’t just abandon it, not this soon after I found it. This is not my world and this is not my life.”

“You…” Cassian stared at her. “... you’re right. I may have been fighting the Empire my whole life, but I don’t think the fight in me will ever be over. I want freedom, _Force_ I want it so badly. But I can’t sit here, in this other existence, and simply forget what my entire existence was for.”

She smiled, stroking his fingers with her thumb, a calming gesture, and he felt himself shake.

“I guess we’ll just have to figure out a way to get back then.”


	4. Bourbon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So despite the fact that I have a million other things to do, this story's moving along, little by little. I wanted to thank every person who left a comment and feedback, they make me feed plot bunnies with delicious twists!
> 
> And yeah, I know the plot is moving at about the speed of a steamroller, but bear with my ridiculous need to flesh out the environment because there are things coming and things happening and now it's not within my control anymore.
> 
> These universes were made to interact, I swear.
> 
> Did I mention how much I love Bones?

_Attention all crew, this is Captain Kirk speaking. As some of you may already know, on their mission to Jalta 5, Officers Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor experienced difficulties when beaming back. I am deeply sorry to report that, as far as we’re aware, they did not survive the trip._

_The malfunction in the transporter beam resulted in two alternate-universe inhabitants to materialise on the ship instead, as during the Mirror Universe incident a year ago. They are not considered to be dangerous and every crewmember will receive a debrief on how to handle the new passengers. Needless to say I expect everyone to read it and be aware of the situation._

_A memorial service for the officers will be held in the mess hall at eight o’clock standard time. Everyone is welcome to attend._

_Captain Kirk out._

\---

Jyn had heard of the phrase ‘Like a fish out of water’, but she had never imagined it would apply to her.

Back home, the entire universe was Empire or Resistance, danger and temporary safety. She could infiltrate any planet, make her way out of any prison and, as it turns out, turn her life around and join a universal cause against a great evil and even (dare she have ever hoped) make friends.

This was new. This was alien. This strange, non-hostile cold-shoulder of a world that she didn’t belong in made her wake up shivering, gasping for breath with images of her companions lying empty-eyed on the sands of Scarif. She would calm herself by replaying in her mind her training, Saw’s strict and occasionally cruel regiment, ways to quickly assemble and take apart various types of blasters and finally, her breathing would still in the cool, sterile air of the medbay.

They spent their first two days on the alien ship in a strangely relative peace, due to the craft’s commanders wanting them to recover from their injuries. Cassian spent most of that time asleep, since his injuries had been a lot worse than hers and Jyn was soon treated to a brief introduction to Captain Kirk, Commander Spock and Scotty, the red-shirted man they’d first met who was apparently head of Engineering ( _You gave us a right fright there, lassie, put me back on the scotch for the last few days_ ).

She refused to allow Spock into her mind for an explicative meld, _If there’s one thing I can still hold onto that’s mine in this world, it’s my head and I won’t be letting anyone in if I can help it_.

The doctor that had knocked her out the first time with what she later learned was a sedative administered through an object called a ‘hypo’, skirted around her like a terrified animal. She learned his name was Bones (or Dr. McCoy, more officially) and whenever she saw him and his caution, she’d follow him with a defiant and threatening gaze until he was done with his ministrations, because while she didn’t think he’d go for knocking her out again, there was definitely a satisfaction in keeping him on edge.

However, it was Bones who surprised her out of the dream-like state of recovery on the third day of their time aboard the Enterprise.

“Here, have some.”

The doctor held out a glass of a clear, golden-brown liquid that she could only assume to be alcohol as he nursed another one in his other hand. She eyed it suspiciously before looking up at him. _No_ , her look said, _you don’t get to make peace offerings after the shit you pulled_.

Bones sighed, taking a long swig of his own drink. He winced and turned his eyes back to hers, frowning and insistent.

“You don’t have to accept a drink from someone you don’t know, kid, but I’m offering you some of my best bourbon and after the crap you two’ve been through, trust me when I say you’ll need it.”

He kept his arm stretched out stubbornly and she sighed before accepting the offering. She sniffed the liquid. Its odour was powerful, something that reminded her of Flameout, which she’d once had the pleasure of trying in order to stay warm when Saw took her to some god-forsaken ice planet outpost.

“What is it?”

“You ain’t ever tried whisky before?” Bones looked like a mix of offended and amused. “It’s my number one prescription for a shitty life, first on the list of doctor’s orders. Keeps the throat burning and the bad memories from turning. And gets you drunker than Scotty on Burns’ Night when the going gets too tough.”

She tried a tiny sip and coughed as she felt the burn of alcohol run down her throat. The taste wasn’t all unpleasant though and she clung to the glass a little tighter, eyeing her newfound companion as he made his way to the visitor’s chair and collapsed into it.

“So, a parallel universe, huh? Must be a rough time trying to get your bearings around here. You and your companion are real good at healing up though, I’ve never seen anyone recover from that level of burns and broken bones that quickly.”

Jyn considered ignoring the doctor, her pent-up anxiousness and resentment still snaking around her like chains, but the need for conversation and _understanding_ of this world won out. She needed a person she could talk to, even if it was not necessarily someone she could trust. Cassian was just as confused and lost- and out cold- but this man had held out a helping hand and she wasn’t stupid enough not to take it.

“It might be bacta. Both I and, I’m guessing, Cassian have been immersed in it and it might leave a residual healing effect. Your universe doesn’t seem to have anything like it.”

“Bacta, huh. Is this something to do with that Force thing that Spock keeps raving about?”

“The Force…”

_I am one with the Force and the Force is with me._

Jyn suddenly felt like a speck of galactic debris, floating in an endless vacuum of stars. How did she end up in a universe where she would have to find the words to describe what the Force is, what it means? Where the Empire was nothing but a story only two people can tell and everything she’s ever known was gone, as though it had never existed?

 “Bacta doesn’t directly work through the Force, but the Force runs through every living being. Many have forgotten about it - and the Jedi - but I keep the lessons of my family.” She said, toying with the Kyber necklace on her chest, adding “It’s not something I can explain.”

“Well it sure makes my life easier to have you guys out of woods this quick.” Bones shrugged, downing the rest of his glass of whisky and pulling a bottle out from under the visitor’s chair to refill. Jyn wondered briefly if there were bottles of the stuff hidden throughout the entire infirmary. “I didn’t mean to hypo you that time, you know. We ain’t some kinda animals, we treat people right whether they’re our friends or not.”

He looked her straight in the eyes at this and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

“I know you’ve been through tough times and you don’t owe us a thing. But I’ll be damned if you harm anyone on board this ship. Now you two don’t strike me as the kind of people who go around hurting others for the hell of it, but consider this my own personal warning: I’ve got hypos that do more than just help you sleep.”

Jyn listened in silence and sipped her whisky. She had no incentives to threaten the good doctor and it felt necessary, almost obligatory, to sit through the lecture. Bones looked relieved after her lack of outright hostility, his shoulders visibly relaxing.

“Anyway, you’ll be getting your own quarters on the ship soon and you’ll have to face the reality of being stuck here for now. There’ll be people that want to know where our Jyn and Cassian are and there’ll be those that won’t leave you alone no matter the official instructions are. You’ll look like friends to them and it won’t be easy for anyone.” The doctor leaned over and poured her another dram. “My point is, if you ever need to just sit away from it all and have a numbing whisky-induced binge, you can come to me. Doctor’s advice. You too.”

He nodded to someone behind her and Jyn turned to see Cassian’s awake and amused eyes meeting hers. Bones nodded again.

“We’ll be leaving Jalta 5 in a few hours, their government were less than helpful. After the botched political meetings, Jim’s just about ready to punch the warp button and disappear from the system. We’ll be on a mapping mission for the next week or so and that’ll give you guys a bit of time to settle in without imminent danger to your lives from some unseen force.” he chuckled darkly “Though God knows a ‘simple mission’ is never what we end up getting.”

“Is there any chance we could talk to Captain any time soon?” Cassian asked, frowning.

“Oh Jim’s eager to chat to you two. He’s just not too sure on how to approach the damn elephants and cows sitting in the room. He said he’ll be having a proper sit-down once you two leave medbay, which I’ll be sanctioning in about three days. Meantime, we’ve been keeping out visitors that want to see you with their own eyes, but you’re allowed to decide whether or not you want to deal with that while here or whenever you move out into your own quarters.”

Jyn thought about Baze and Chirrut and Bodhi and her father and how they would have felt if she’d been replaced with an identical non-Jyn. She shook her head.

“No, I think introductions can wait.” She looked around and saw Cassian’s agreeing nod. Strange, how they’d become symbiotic in the space of a few days. She found herself wanting to curl up beside him, to physically hang on to what little sanity she could still find in the universe. Her fingers twitched.

“Yeah I figured.” Shrugged Bones. “Just remember, you can’t avoid this forever. Everyone on this damn ship is messed up.”

\---

Three days meant learning. Jyn poured over the history and cultural documents concerning the new universe, delighted in previously untasted foodstuffs and lost herself in conversations with Cassian. The sharp feeling of caution never fully abandoned her, but with every calm, passing day, she felt herself relax a little more.

She learned of Cassian’s childhood with the Rebellion, the burnt down and decimated home he’d found one day on his home planet, Stormtroopers marching around looking for survivors. She could feel, as he must have done, the sheer terror and the singular thought that repeated in the six-year-old’s mind, the need to get away, the pain of seeing his parents’ bloodied bodies. She found out that his parents had been helping the Rebellion by secretly shipping supplies and medical aid and that Cassian had not even been aware of this until the Empire took everything away from him and the Rebellion took him in, frozen and hungry, two days after he’d run out of tears at the body of his mother.

She learned of the Federation from info pads, their mission of peace and the obstacles in its way. She devoured pages on the Romulans and the Klingons, on various species and histories of planets. There was something that made her giddy, every time she realised that nowhere was there mention of Death Stars or Empires or Stormtroopers, even if their galactic history was by no means spotless.

She shared her own stories with Cassian. She told him of her mother as she held the still-warm Kyber crystal in her palms. She spoke of Saw Guerrera and how she wished she’d have more memories of her father’s kisses on her cheeks and her mother’s hugs than hiding in dank alleys waiting for a target to shoot down. She spoke of Saw’s loud guffawing laugh before he’d turned colder and harder than the frozen wastelands on Hoth.

She wanted to tell him what it had meant for her to have Cassian on that beach on Scarif, to know that for once she wasn’t alone and even death didn’t scare her anymore. She occasionally noticed his eyes soften in a way she’d only ever seen on that day and wondered what that meant. She wondered if the Rebel Captain was better off in a world where he was no longer a rebel or a captain. Then Jyn would recede back into herself and try unsuccessfully to forget those eyes.

She learned of dilithium crystals, attempted to understand a little about their spacetravel and the warp drive. Cassian shared her curiosity for the construction and performance of spacecrafts, which were seemingly not particularly different to those back home apart from the lack of manoeuvrability and militaristic capabilities, which made sense in a space-battle short world. Their ships were mostly large, powerful and rarely engaged with each other.

Jyn soon decided she liked the fact that their weapons could be set to ‘stun’ instead of ‘kill’ and she told herself it was for tactical reasons and not because it may have become too much to always see the light leave someone’s eyes so immediately, so uncontrollably after her finger pulled the trigger.

On the fourth night of their rescue, she’d curled up at Cassian’s side, in his bunk and felt the tears she knew would never fall linger in her mind. She knew she could control it and she did, but there was a hollowness left behind by Rogue One that even Saw’s cautions, ringing in her ears, couldn’t fill. So she listened to Cassian’s heartbeat and felt his arm around her frame and dreamed of walls of fire and strange gateways between universes.

She heard him whisper something and though she didn’t hear what it was, she knew it was important. She was glad to not be alone.

_Are you with me?_

_All the way._

He’d really meant it, then.

 

 


	5. White Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the insane amount of time it took to update this! I'm back on the coursework and settling back into the canyon-sized hole of things to do that a Physics degree needs took a huge chunk of time out of any form of life I had. But here it is and they'll keep coming!
> 
> I am in love with your comments and advice. It genuinely helps the writing and the motivation to skip sleep to write this thing and as long as there is plot, there will be chapters to be posted. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE RESPONSES THEY ARE LOVELY!
> 
> And though I loathe to give anything away- boy, is there a plot coming. I've got some TOS nostalgic episode references to come (and don't worry if you've never watched Star Trek TOS, the reboot universe is a breeding ground for adapting the old storylines in the most beautiful ways). Needless to say Cassian and Jyn won't be stuck doing nothing but wandering around and stumbling into people needing a chat for too long.

“Okay, so neither of you actually understands what this _Force_ thing is.” Jim said as he ran his hand across the back of his neck for the umpteenth time. “But it’s apparently universal and is used by these ‘Jedi’, who are all a part of some religion but haven’t been seen or heard from in decades.”

At Jyn’s careful nod Jim chuckled incredulously, closing his eyes and letting the absurdity of everything he was hearing sink in.

“I was curious about your universe but all this just sounds like science fiction. And I’ve seen Black Holes bursting out from red floating blobs and swallowing up an entire planet. Though it definitely is- to use a well-worn phrase of a friend of mine- fascinating.”

Although both Cassian and Jyn had spent the entire meeting tense and quiet, he could see them relaxing into the casual atmosphere, their shoulders finally melting out of their rigid states. He stared as Jyn absently played with the piece of crystal hanging around her neck, his tired mind hypnotised by the movement of her fingers, before he was shaken out of the stupor by her deep, serious eyes meeting his.

“What will you do to us?” asked Cassian and Jim noticed how he slightly, almost imperceptibly, leaned in closer to Jyn as though readying to throw himself in front of her in case of danger. It was a subconscious move, but it spoke volumes.

“I don’t think I’ve reached the _doing_ part yet. I think both myself and the rest of the command team are still stuck here trying the _understanding_.” Jim locked his eyes with the mistrustful ones of the other captain. “What I mean is, we have no plans for you in the long run. Apart from the very unfortunate circumstance of both of you looking exactly like two officers whose deaths still weigh on everyone’s minds, you are individuals in your own right, non-hostile (and I hope, for your sakes, you remain such) and without a home we could drop you off in. Your lives are your own, though I get the feeling my Science officer would give up the tips of his ears to study you two.”

“Have you found a way to send us back to our world.”

Jyn’s stony, constantly mistrustful gaze locked onto Jim as though he were a target at a shooting range, her question sounding more like a statement. No, an _order_. Jim looked at her and all he could see was a soldier, calculating and cold, never letting down her guard. However, strangely enough, it was also her insistence on only showing that particular facet of herself to everyone around her that made her, in Jim’s eyes, all the more human. It was as though the emotion and forgotten softness were absolutely brimming below the surface of her hardened armour and it took this robotic act, built up through years of repression and training, to keep it held back.

Cassian, on the other hand, didn’t hide his tired, hunted eyes. He was every bit a fighter, but it was less of a wall he’d built around himself and more a weary resignation to his own fate. He bore the scars of his battles on the surface, like a man who’d long ago given up on pretending to be better. Yet Jim saw a fire flickering in the corners of his irises and it hadn’t taken him long to figure out that much of what fanned those flames lately was Jyn Erso and that they could burn a hole through the Enterprise without a second’s notice should the spark fly.

He sighed, leaning back in his chair and considering what damage the people before him could do should the trigger be pulled.

“No, though not for lack of trying.” He replied, watching Jyn’s lips pull into a tight line. “I’m afraid we have no idea what caused the switch this time around. Last time we encountered a Mirror Universe was during an ion storm and trust me when I say that when you two dropped it in had been smooth sailing on our side for weeks. We thought it may have been the energy blast in your ‘verse that triggered a rift between the universes, but it’s all speculation at this point. Scotty’s the best in his field, trust me, but even he’s stumped as to what the beaming records show.”

Jyn seemed to take in the information and glance momentarily at Cassian, who looked as grim as ever. Jim could almost sense the desperation radiating from her.

“Then in the mean time, I’d like to learn more about this universe myself.” She said with unnecessary defiance, probably built on habit. “If we’re going to be stuck here, I’ll find a way to make myself useful.”

“Me too.” Cassian looked pensive. “If you would allow, Captain Kirk, I would offer my services to the Federation. From what I’ve learned it seems like a worthy cause to fight for. And lives are lives, regardless of what universe they are in.”

Jim stared at the rebel Captain before catching himself and grinning.

“See, I said we’d get along.” he said, noticing Jyn’s wide eyes regarding her friend.  “Unfortunately I can’t give you any official status or access to restricted information and facilities, but that could be a matter of time. If you keep giving us reasons to trust you, I’ll see what I can do.”

Jim stood, stretching his muscles and the two officer look-alikes followed suit, Jyn placing a hand on Cassian’s shoulder and looking halfway between shocked and preoccupied.

“In the mean time, you’ll have more than enough on your plates with my crew. I’ve heard officers Malbus and Rook have been trying to break into the medbay for days. I want you to understand that it’s difficult for the people around here to accept what has happened, if maybe not in the same way that it is for you. In any case, you’re under my protection and so are they, so please don’t go getting into any…” Jim paused, wincing at the memory of his savage, alternate self holding a dagger pressed to Uhura’s neck “… confrontations.”

He received a curt nod from Cassian and a pointed look from Jyn in response as they walked out of the room. It finally dawned on him that he was trusting two completely alien creatures, _soldiers_ , to roam free aboard the Enterprise and that he really, truly, in the depths of his heart, trusted them.

Jim was not a man to disregard his instincts.

He also had no idea what was in store.

\---

Cassian’s new quarters were located, strategically, right next to Jyn’s. He didn’t quite know how to feel about that.

They’d refused to live in their alternate selves’ old rooms. Cassian was more terrified of witnessing what a happier, sane Cassian’s life might have looked like than he was of the Deathstar.

Instead, he brushed his palm across the fabric of his sterile pillow and wished for the hundredth time that he hadn’t, in those short and yet unforgettable days in the medbay, gotten used to hearing the quiet breaths of Jyn Erso at his ear. It was a lullaby he would likely not sleep without for a while.

It was ridiculous. This entire thing was ridiculous.

He’d always dreamed of the day when he’d be free of the Empire and now none of that mattered anymore. He knew he could find a purpose here, in this Universe, but everything just felt… _hollow_. Everything but Jyn Erso.

He’d learnt of the cycles of time the Enterprise functioned in and he knew that it had been twelve hours since he’d woken up at the medbay. He’d have to either go to sleep soon. Jyn was probably already asleep.

Jyn Jyn Jyn.

The name danced in his head like a sound clip stuck in a loop. He was reminded of a younger, stupider Cassian and a soft-faced, brave Rebel pilot girl names Jess staring at him wistfully as they faced each other at the Base’s hangar.

 _I’m sorry, Cassian_ , she’d said.

She died a year after she’d broken his heart, blown up together with her X-wing, but he realised now that it had hardly been heartbreak. Few soldiers of the Rebellion ever married or had families. The life expectancy was too low and their lives too cluttered with the cause. That day he’d realised that what Jess had been was merely a comforting symbol of stability and not one that could have ever lasted. All it had given him was a week of sleepless nights filled with guilt and grief, drenched with the knowledge that he had never really meant for it to last and all he’d done was taken her away from someone that may have really loved her.

Jyn was…

_He was stumbling through the warm, moist atmosphere of Scarif again, his hand gripping his blaster numbly, blinding pain shooting through his ribs and legs. He saw Krennic, wrestling with Jyn and it was subconscious- the blaster shot his hand automatically delivered. He caught her wild, untamed gaze and he tasted victory as she stumbled towards him._

_He felt her grip and it felt right. It couldn’t be, that he’d known her for less than a few days. She felt like the first person he’d known for a lifetime, the one that hadn’t been and wouldn’t be taken away. Dying together had seemed like the only possible outcome at the time. There was no Cassian Andor left after the shockwave that Jyn Erso blasted through his existence._

Cassian came back to himself, to the white-walled reality of the Enterprise and felt a sad laughter bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. He was a fool, probably too lonely for far too long and latching on to the first human that he felt anything for. It was a mistake, more so because his need to see Jyn was more because she was the only thing familiar in this universe of foreign things. It had to be that. He couldn’t lose the one friend he had left in the world to something as stupid as what he was feeling.

It was time to explore a little more of his new home and get his thoughts in order. Sleep could wait a little.

\---

The ship’s corridors were busier than Cassian had expected and he suddenly felt far too exposed in his non-uniform civilian clothes. Although most of the officers rushing past him were too busy to pay too much attention to him, there were more than enough glances and whispers to make him feel on edge as he roamed the whitewashed walls.

White. It was a thing that really struck him. The Rebellion’s ships and bases had always had a good layer of grime on them, a rainbow of camouflage colours beneath it all. Everything often stank of fuel and sweat and occasionally blood. The sterility of the Enterprise was disconcerting, though he’d visited some planets and ships during his intelligence missions that had involved a similar strange aesthetic, it only served to remind him of how far away from home he really was.

Cassian took care to remember how to get back to his quarters, mapping out the route he took with diligence, but the ship was large and every corner melted into yet another passage with panels and doors lining its pale walls. He discovered rooms with pads for reading and studying, mess halls filled with chattering humanoids in red and blue uniforms and finally stumbled into a giant hall with a viewing screen so large that it filled his periphery. He blinked and realised that it was a glass screen with breath-taking vista of the stars and planets surrounding the Enterprise.

He looked around and noticed a small bar at one end of the hall and a few tables near the screen surrounded by barstools. The room was nearly empty, a few officers quietly conversing at one of the corner tables. This was the first space that lacked the white theme of the rest of the ship, the lights dimmed and the surroundings bathed in the darkness of space provided by the screen’s image. Cassian felt himself engrossed in the familiarity of the cosmos, his muscles relaxing for the first time since he’d left the medbay.

He made his way to the bar, hoping against hope that this wouldn’t require an interaction with people he wasn’t yet ready for. There was no bartender as far as he could see, but a woman was already there, dressed in (what he’d learned to be) science blue and she winked at him as she poured herself a strange-shaped glass full of red liquid and strolled to join a companion at one of the tables. He looked around at the bottles lined up before him and decided to risk grabbing one of the glasses and pouring himself some of the same drink.

The first sip made him think it was something he could get used to.

“Cassian did always like his wine, the princess.” He heard a familiar voice sound behind him and almost dropped the glass.

He turned around to find the almost too familiar and yet entirely alien face of Baze Malbus staring back at him. He was so vastly different to the Baze Cassian could remember that his brain had a moment of panic as it teetered between the gruff warrior of his memories and the short-haired, uniformed version that stood before him. He came back to himself and felt that his mouth was hanging open in surprise.

“So,” the other-Baze began, a spice of mistrust peppering every syllable “I heard you’re Cassian Andor, newcomer from yet another Mirror Universe no one seems to be able to explain or understand. Welcome aboard the Enterprise, I hope you’ve not got a bloodthirsty need to overthrow your seniors and stab people with daggers or swords.”

Cassian couldn’t manage to delve into the particulars of the strange things this ghost of a man was saying to him because the only thing he could see in his mind’s eye clearly was the image of a bloodied corpse lying on the sands of Scarif, an image his mind had created and was refusing to erase.

“Baze…” he whispered.

Other-Baze frowned, his eyes boring into Cassian’s as he straightened.

“How do you know my name?”


	6. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual the only excuse for the frequency (or lack thereof) of the chapters is my struggle with my degree- but the story continues! I wanted to thank you all for the engaging feedback and to reassure you all that there's most definitely a plot in the making here. Think 'City on the Edge of Forever' if you'd like.
> 
> I sometimes feel as though I wrote far too much introspection in this story though I think the biggest part of it right now IS the way the characters feel about the situation. I'm worried about moving it forward too quickly before building the right bridges. Tell me what you think in the comments if you can be bothered!
> 
> I also wanted to apologise if anyone's had any double-updates of the story! I'd tried to edit some spelling mistakes and I think Ao3 posted those as story updates. I'll try and keep the edits to myself for now.
> 
> Enjoy the joy that is the merging of two epic sci-fi fandoms!

_Galen Walton Erso, born 2218.45 (aged 45 standard years) to Kyrel and Gemma Erso, husband of Lyra and father of Jyn Erso. Head of Life-Support Engineering at Starfleet, currently stationed at the Starfleet Headquarters in San Francisco, Earth. Graduated Starfleet academy with Highest Honours, holds a number of human awards including the Nobel Prize for Physics and the Zee-Magnees Prize for his innovations in xenogenous life-sustaining technologies…_

Jyn sighed, switching off the reading pad and closing her eyes. The backlit words of the paragraph continued dancing in her vision, making her head spin. It may have been the hundredth time she’d read the article and every time her gut felt like it had been slammed with a blaster shot.

Of course, Galen would be a scientist in this universe and a genius no less. She wondered what his life may have turned out like if the Empire hadn’t recruited him to build the one thing he couldn’t put his heart and mind into. A man with a mind like her father may have saved millions of lives instead of taking them away.

But then, in a way, he had.

She grasped at her mother’s necklace, feverishly praying that the Deathstar plans will have made it to the right hands, that the warmachine which had taken everything from her would soon itself be blasted into nothingness. It’s true that even the little she had learned to hold dear in her universe was probably gone, but she’d fight tooth-and-nail to return and finish the job herself, to make sure that the Empire paid the price for what it had done to her family and her friends.

Guilt, unbidden, wormed itself through her consciousness. Cassian’s shocked face floated in her mind and she grit her teeth, thinking of his endless war. He deserved the freedom he had in this world, she had no right to take it away from him. He’d given his entire life to the Rebellion while she had only just begun the journey. He was happy here.

 _Freedom_ -

-was something she wanted too. But there were years to go still, before her father’s gaunt face and unseeing eyes stopped haunting her.

She would have to learn to leave Cassian behind if the opportunity ever presented itself.

 She sighed, letting go of the kyber hanging around her neck and searching for some sort of distraction in her new home. The room was spacious enough but it held nothing to latch onto, nothing to distract her tumbling thoughts and her churning stomach. There was an unrest in her heart and Jyn didn’t know how to tame it. She needed space to think.

Her eyes fell on the keypad by her door and she sighed. It could only be so long that she could avoid interacting with this brave new world she’d landed in. And if nothing else, Jyn Erso was no coward.

It was time to face the _USS Enterprise_ and her crew.

\---

“ _Long_ hair.”

“Yes.”

“And a cannon.”

Cassian sighed, the words still echoing fake in his head as he tried to grasp the gruff and consistently far-too-direct personality of Officer Baze Malbus. It was disorientating- familiar and foreign in superposition.

“It was a heavy repeater cannon yes. Baze was very fond of it, at least as far as I knew him.”

 “Huh.”

Other-Baze lifted a mug of his beer and took a long swig, his eyes only ever pausing their constant vigilance for a moment or two. He regarded Cassian with an infinite edge of distrust but, the rebel captain noted, the look had indeed softened in their ten minutes of conversation. It seemed as though this Baze retained the assassin’s instincts of his counterpart, if without practicing the actual profession.

“I don’t suppose you knew him all that well then, seeing as though you met two days before he died. Sounds like your universe is a harsh place.”

“It is.” Cassian inclined his head and continued to sip the wine which, apparently, had been other-Cassian favourite drink and he found he enjoyed immensely. “I’m glad to find that there are existences other than ours in the… well, not the universe I suppose. I’m glad they’re out there.”

Baze allowed a silent pause in the conversation, his eyes finally drifting away from his companion and focusing on the stars twinkling in the massive viewing screen surrounding them.

“I’m sorry.” He said after a moment and Cassian looked up in surprise. “I was angry at you, you know. Angry that Cassian and Jyn were dead, angry that some impostors who should have died instead replaced them. And I know it wasn’t your fault and now I see that you’re good people, so… I’m sorry. Your—other Cassian’s, our Cassian’s—sister, Keira, loved him more than anything in the world. He was the brave big brother exploring the galaxy and beating up bad guys.”

“What was he like?” Cassian asked quietly, almost in a whisper.

“A good man.” Baze’s lips twitched upwards fondly. “Cassian Andor cared for people around him, cared for his family. I only met him a year ago on one of the planet-side missions and he taught me how to reprogram my info pad to play music. He was someone you could make friends with in an instant. A lot of us miss him.”

Cassian hung his head, both in respect for the fallen man he’d never known and in shame. His own history was marred with nothing but deceit and violence. Surely this universe would have been a hundred times better off with Cassian Andor the friend and brother than Cassian Andor the spy and soldier. He resolved once more to try and right his way while he had the chance, to help in any way he could with this mission of peace.

“You know what I find interesting? That you and I would find each other in a different universe, just as Jyn and Cassian seemed to have found each other.” Baze said after a moment. “Seems like some sort of existential karma thing. It was strange enough to see two Kirks running around but knowing that there’s another me on some strange planet with Chirrut and a portable cannon… it’s fucking weird you know.”

“I’ll admit the idea of some stranger walking around wearing my face with no knowledge of the Empire is almost impossible to fathom. I still keep expecting to just wake up and find that it was all a dream. I’m a soldier, bred for war, stuck in a world in which the war never existed and I’ll admit my hands feel empty without a blaster in them.”

Cassian paused, trying to sort out the beehive of his mind before he could ask the next question. His emotions tumbled all over the place and the philosophical tone of their conversation had not helped him ground himself in any way, shape or form whatsoever.

“Cassian and Jyn, did they… did they know each other then?”

Baze looked at him in silence for a couple of moments, his gaze inscrutable. Then, all of a sudden, he threw his head back and began barking with laughter. Cassian almost leapt out of his chair in surprise.

“Those two? Don’t even get me started. I know you told me about how you only met myself, Chirrut, Bodhi and Jyn from your universe a couple of days ago, but _we’ve_ got a history of on this ship amongst ourselves.”

Baze took a long swig of his drink and then looked at Cassian almost as though he was trying to convey something through the look, seeking out an answer to a question he hadn’t voiced out loud.

“I told you how I met Cassian about a year ago and I’ve known Chirrut for most of the three years I’ve been aboard the Enterprise. Bodhi’s only become part of the team as recently as last month when we all got sent on a planet-side exploration mission, but the kid’s got guts and I like him. Jyn though? I met Jyn some months ago when she was just a brand-new transfer from another ship. I remember it clear as day- yelling her skinny self hoarse in the mess hall about our treatment of the Nechani. And the man she was yelling at was none other than our own friend home-verse Cassian Andor. Apparently the two had managed to get into an argument about tolerance, morality and religion without even having properly been introduced.”

Baze chuckled again, his eyes unfocused as he reminisced.

“Long story short, within the hour we were all enamoured with the feisty creature, daughter of the renowned scientist Galen Erso. She gave Cassian a hell of a talk and wore him down pretty damn quick. Never have I met someone with half as much passion about her beliefs-- except for maybe the Captain and Scotty, those two could move a galaxy if they set their minds to it.” Then he looked straight at Cassian, again. “That wasn’t nearly the last argument yo—those two had. Jyn and Cassian were like fire and ice half of the time and we could only pray for those who decided to try and step in to split them. It just so happened that they also made one of the best operational teams on the ship together so soon enough it was _Andor and Erso this_ and _Andor and Erso that_. The Captain’s smart, he can tell when something works well and boy did them two work well together. I guess neither was slow in challenging the other’s plans and strategies.”

Baze smirked and Cassian felt heat rising up his neck.

“You know we always joked about them arguing like a married couple and they did end up spending an insane amount of time in each other’s presence over the last few months. It was a friendship that was clear to see to anyone who even glanced. Personally I was just waiting for the ball to drop- they were some of my closest friends at this point after all and I did enjoy Cassian squirm when anyone even mentioned Jyn. Yes, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” Baze said, changing his tone at Cassian’s look of embarrassment and revelation, sounding far too much like an admonishing best friend. “It might be weird hearing about this when you’ve only known your Jyn for a few days but I’m about ninety percent sure that ours were practically soulmates. Even if it might have taken them another ten years to figure it out for themselves.”

Then Baze sighed, his face turning into a deep-lined frown and for once, he truly reminded Cassian of the Baze of his memories, war-weary and old, tired. His eyes scanned Cassian’s face as though searching for something inscrutable.

“You look just like him. Maybe a little more tired and skinny, but you’re _him_. I’m not the kind of man who makes friends easily and this… this group of people that I met aboard the Enterprise mean the world to me. I’m sorry if I still see our Cassian when I look at your face and I still feel like teasing you when I speak of Jyn. It will take me a while to deal with what we’ve lost.”

Cassian hung his head again, the sadness of the other man growing a guilt inside him that he’d almost forgotten. Here he was trying to draw parallels between himself and this other Cassian, speaking of him as though he were a character in some twisted story, when Baze had lost him, a real person, a real friend that had been right there just a few days ago.

“I’m sorry.”

Baze said nothing for a couple of moments, staring out into the viewscreen void of the universe and then shook his head.

“I’m not getting over them being gone any time soon, but I’m not going to hold some stupid grudge against you either. If you like, you can join myself and Bodhi at the mess and the gym any time. God knows you’re probably finding this a lot harder than we are and that’s saying something.”

“I… I’d like that.” Cassian said, feeling himself warm a little. It was a tentative step but a step nonetheless in finding himself a place in this world. “I’ll try and find my way around the ship somehow.”

“Well then, 1100 standard time tomorrow at the mess, I’ll tell Bodhi. He won’t believe me the little rogue, but he’ll see for himself anyway.”

Cassian almost choked at the mention of the word ‘rogue’ but saved himself before he spilled any drink on himself. A wave of affection radiated through him and he felt himself smiling.

“I’ll get going then, d’you want me to show you the way back to your quarters?”

Cassian looked up at the expanse of stars on the screen, his brain’s circuitry running wild after the conversation and he shook his head. “Thanks, I’ll stay and finish my drink first. There’s a lot to think about.”

Baze nodded and clapped his hand on Cassian’s shoulder.

“I may have lost a friend but that doesn’t mean I can’t make a new one. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And with that he walked away, leaving Cassian behind to marvel at what he’d just been offered.

\---

The moment Jyn stepped out through her door she felt on edge. The alien environment unsettled her. She pondered knocking on Cassian’s door, the need for his presence now an itch after their shared few days at the medbay but she decided against it- the man needed rest more than anything and he may already be asleep.

She wandered through the ship’s corridors in no particular direction, her mind swimming with thoughts about her father and of mornings where she would kiss her mother on the cheek. She felt a strange kind of emptiness- an absence of something that her mind now clung to with a fervent need. It was a hole cut in her soul by the very knowledge that some version of her, somewhere in existence, had _had_ this. The family. The happy life.

Unbidden, Cassian’s face came to her mind and with it a sensation of relief. She didn’t ponder it, but clung to the sensation and realised, that while she’d never had the family life she’d wanted, the last week had given her the opportunity to experience what having a family really was- caring for people, having someone who cared for you, having some sort of _home_.

_I’m not used to people sticking around when things go bad._

_Welcome home._

She was startled out of her reverie when she saw someone approaching her from down the long, winding corridor, calling her name.

“Jyn! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you I just…”

It was the woman in red from the medbay, the one who had spoken with the captain and Scotty and Bones and the stone-faced Spock. She struggled to remember her name, but was saved before she made any stupid remarks.

“… I just wanted to check that you were doing alright. It’s Nyota, by the way. Nyota Uhura.” She smiled, extending her hand and Jyn took it, feeling herself relax in the pleasant aura of the strange woman. “I know that I’ll never fully understand what you’re going through but if it helps, I’ve had the pleasure of visiting a universe in which I was a man-seducing, killing machine with a terrible taste in clothing. I know how strange it is to find yourself in an entirely different _world_.”

Jyn nodded, unsure of what to say.

“I was just about to explore the ship.” She managed and Nyota smiled.

“Well I just finished my shift so I’ve got a little time to myself. I can give you a little tour if you’d like? It’s better than wandering around aimlessly in this place, trust me. The best you’ll get to is getting lost.”

Jyn was dumbfounded by the openness and friendship she was being offered and her instinct to question it almost made her turn the offer down. But the few days of cognitive re-conditioning she’d had to do to deal with the idea of this entire universe made her nod instead.

“Thank you.”

“Brilliant.” Nyota waved at a passing officer and smiled at Jyn. “Let’s start with the command room?”

 


	7. Sobriety

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a very difficult degree, I really do. That's why this story may yet take me an eternity to complete. I apologize for the insane wait, but I'm determined to finish it, no matter what it takes (which, judging by the snail's pace of the plot, might actually be forever).
> 
> Thank you for all the feedback and support! It's genuinely helped move this along, knowing someone out there is waiting for the next part. Constructive criticism is a treasure and I want shower you with gratitude for it!
> 
> I apologise for focusing so much of the plot on the Feels, all the Feels between Cassian and Jyn but the truth is, that's just the way I see their first few days on the Enterprise turning out. I promise there is a plot beyond that, but playing around with people's inner thoughts and their interactions with others is probably the most fun part of a crossover like this. Action is imminent, don't you all worry. 
> 
> Merry Christmas everyone :)

Cassian’s vision spun slightly as he gazed at the multitudes of unfamiliar stars on the viewing screen. He’d drunk more than he’d intended during his conversation with Baze and the dreamlike aftermath during which his thoughts had taken twists and turns in a labyrinth he’d long intended to avoid.

Everything- the history of his alternate self, the person known as Baze Malbus, thoughts of Jyn and fate danced through his mind, making his head spin. He felt excited and sad all at once, the prospect of finding new friends thrilling and the thoughts of loss of both people and worlds awakening a grief deeper than he’d felt before. He was aware that a lot of the turmoil in his mind and heart was mostly due to the alcohol, but it did nothing to dissipate the sudden onrush of emotion.

He was hit, suddenly, by the image of Jyn’s face in the elevator on Scarif, how close she’d been, how many unspoken words passed between them in those minutes--moments. He wondered if she ever thought about it the way he did, as heat pooled in the base of his stomach. He would have felt ashamed, but he could do little to deny the fact that despite their incredible predicament, much of his brainpower in the past few days had been dedicated to thinking of nothing but her and their last few moments on Scarif. The world-- _worlds_ \-- be damned, Cassian Andor’s biggest problem right now was the unshakeable need to bury his face in the softness of Jyn’s hair, to feel his arms around her again as they’d been in the medbay.

He shook his head, trying to snap himself out of his ridiculous reverie and stood up. The world was slightly hazy and while he knew he wasn’t too drunk to make it back to his room, he was definitely drunk enough to think up something stupid that would torture him for the rest of eternity.

He stumbled as he walked, trying to remember every biting, cynicism-laced piece of advice K-2SO had ever spoken on their many missions together. _We’re very unlikely to actually make it to our destination and you’re trying to show off your piloting skills in an asteroid field. I’m increasing our chances of failure to 84% and may I remind you it’s gone up by 30 in the last five minutes._

He wondered what K-2 would say to him now.

He no longer paid attention to the stares and whispers that followed him as he marched slightly too quickly down the white halls back to his new quarters, focusing only enough to remember when to turn. He could feel exhaustion building up as each step became more and more sluggish—

“… hope to see you tomorrow at the mess! I definitely wouldn’t be dealing with everything as well as you are.”

Cassian’s blurred vision settled on a pair of individuals standing at the end of the hallway, next to what he recognised as the doors to his temporary (permanent?) home. He stumbled very slightly as he stopped, feeling an immediate urge to be both right next to them and as far away as possible.

Jyn’s face, turned to face a strange young man in golden uniform that Cassian couldn’t recognise, was serene, almost happy when relative to the absolute cold and defiant look it usually carried. She held out her hand and Cassian immediately noticed the other man’s eyebrows twitch up, as though he wasn’t quite sure what to do with the gesture. Finally, he grasped her outstretched fingers and smiled.

“Thank you, Hikaru.” Jyn spoke in a low tone. The man named Hikaru nodded, slightly stiffly but with a wide smile and then turned around to leave.

Cassian almost jumped, taking a quick step that would hide him from the pair behind a whitewashed corner, his heart hammering. He wasn’t sure why his reaction was so intense, perhaps it was because he’d expected Jyn to have been asleep and seeing her up and about had surprised him. The heat-- stoked by the alcohol and coursing through him like a forest fire-- flared as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

 _Maybe in some other reality,_ he thought as he listened to Jyn’s doors slide open and shut. Maybe the Jyn and Cassian of this world were so-called soulmates, but his was not a life to invite happiness. This Jyn’s existence had been marred by murder and deceit, the last thing she needed was more of it in the shape of Cassian Andor, spy and soldier. He forced the dim haze of lust into the recesses of his mind and sighed, knowing his hangover in the morning will be the only thing to remind him of the intensity of his feelings. It would be best to forget it entirely.

He stepped out into the now-empty corridor and paused in front of her door, his fingers shaking slightly with the urge to knock. He grasped them with his other hand and turned away. It would be his first night without Jyn Erso’s breath in his ear, he told himself. _It would be the first of many_.

\---

Jyn woke the next morning with a lightness in her heart she’d not felt in a long time. It was not enough to lift the dark thoughts of her dead father or the burden of her self-imposed mission, but it was enough to give her some breathing space.

_The people here are good._

Nyota had spoken to her at length about the missions that the Enterprise had completed, the tragedies and the victories. She had a wonderful gift of putting people at ease with what seemed like a complete lack of effort- friendly and intelligent, knowing exactly what to say and when. Jyn absorbed the information like a sponge. She may have even cracked a smile and a chuckle at the tale of Scotty’s antics during the Tribble crisis, at which point the Engineer himself had appeared from around the corner and given them a sheepish grin. ‘ _Ye cannae blame me for being honest. The Enterprise is my wee bairn, I’d defend her honour til my dyin’ day. The Captain of all people should understand!’_

Together they made their way around the Command Room, where she’d nodded respectfully at Kirk and attempted to decipher Spock’s cool-yet-warm eyes. She shook hands with ensigns Chekhov and Sulu, both of whom seemed more than eager to make friends. They’d both finished their shifts and decided to accompany the women to one of the mess halls where they all sat down for a cup of warm tea (surprisingly reminiscent in taste to the tea she’d had in her rations when training with Saw) and a sweet substance called ‘chocolate’, which she’d immediately taken to.

Jyn took a liking to the mild-mannered Hikaru Sulu, though perhaps that was because he did not spend every other minute loudly proclaiming the superiority of all things created by the Russians (apparently a culture from the home-planet of many crewmembers, Earth) like Chekhov did. She found out he was married and had adopted a child. They spoke at length and she found herself genuinely smiling at the man’s overpowering love for his family and his dedication to the mission.

When she felt herself yawning, Nyota smiled and called it a night, with Hikaru accompanying Jyn to her quarters as they continued discussing manoeuvrability of spacecraft the size of the Enterprise- a topic she promised to revisit as soon as she had the time, because the technologies in this universe were fascinating. Once she’d finally made it into her room, she realised that for the first time in years, her mind had not truly been on high alert, that the usual pain and defiance she harboured as a second skin had been absent for hours.

_The people here are good and there is still hope, perhaps even for my own home._

Perhaps it was not her fate to remain with Nyota, Anton, Hikaru and Scotty. Perhaps the dizzying depths of Galen Erso’s dead eyes would haunt her until she fulfilled his final wishes. But for once she could breathe, just for a moment, and see the goodness her father had wanted to protect, an example of a world she could fight for. Perhaps until Kirk figured out a way to send her back, she could get to know this universe better.

Jyn got up, showered, inhaled the steam. Her face looked back at her in the hazy mirror, worn and tired, despite the respite of the previous night. She sighed and turned away.

Once presentable, she pondered checking on Cassian. There was an itch in the pit of her stomach and she recognised it as a longing for his presence when she slept, comfortable as she’d become with his presence in the medbay. It was a strange feeling, one she was unfamiliar with, but then many things had happened to her in the past few days that she’d been unfamiliar with previously, so she didn’t pay it much mind.

She knocked on his door. No answer. Concern began to worm its way into her mind, but she swallowed it down. Maybe he’d woken up a while ago and decided to explore the ship as she had the night before. It was extremely likely.

And yet…

And yet she found she wanted to see him, to share with him some of the stories she’d heard. Again, she swallowed down the feeling, confused by her own desires. She shouldn’t learn to depend on his company too much if she was to leave him behind in this Universe. She shouldn’t…

_I’m not used to people sticking around when things go bad._

_Welcome home._

Jyn turned away from the door, its silence now suffocating. She’d spent years alone and she wasn’t about to stop today.

\---

The mess was a hive of activity. Cassian’s eyes could barely make out individual people in the sea of blues and reds, with specks of other colours where officers decided to wear casual clothes on their time off. He’d woken up, as predicted, with a skull-splitting headache and a foggy memory of his conversation with Baze, as well as strange echo of jealousy and lust. Luckily he’d discovered how he could acquire a dose of painkillers after a longwinded and confusing conversation with the replicator machine (“No, don’t call Doctor McCoy, I was just joking about the bucket-load of painkillers.”) and found that felt immensely better after a shower.

He considered checking if Jyn was awake, but memories of the previous night and his subconscious desires made him reconsider. He needed a little more time to deal with his unchecked emotions before he made a fool of himself, so he decided to meet Baze and Bodhi alone and take his mind off the entire thing.

Speaking of which, he hoped he’d find them soon since he could already feel the multitude of stares being aimed at him increasing almost exponentially. He remembered that everyone on the ship was aware of his predicament and that some of them were bound to feel the same way Baze had before he’d cleared it up over some wine.

“Cassian!”

Luck was on his side for now.

He turned, starting slightly at Baze’s clean-cut look yet again, despite having spent hours in his company the night before. It truly was a different world. Nothing, however, could have prepared him for the shock that other-Bodhi would deliver.

Gone was the haunted, wide-eyed look of the ex-Empire pilot. His beard and moustache were clean, styled, his hair cropped short. He looked handsome, nothing like a rebel or a soldier, more like a prince of some far-off planet. His gaze was intelligent and it seemed to bore straight through Cassian’s skin and into his very soul. But it was not unkind, merely cautiously curious. Cassian found himself struck speechless.

“Hello, Cassian-who-is-not-Cassian.” he said, his lip curling slightly in amusement. “Baze has told me a lot about you. I suppose you were lucky to have run into him at the bar of all places- a far more likely location for him to listen to things you have to say than any other.”

Baze smacked handsome-Bodhi in the shoulder but his grin was wide.

“Told him you liked the wine, that’s how I knew you’d be as good a man as our old friend.” Baze grunted. “And that you took teasing about Jyn much better than he would, which makes you alright in my book.”

Cassian swallowed the sudden lump in his throat.

“I am happy to finally meet you.” he managed. “The Bodhi Rook I knew was a true friend and hero.”

Bodhi laughed “Don’t set the bar too high my friend. I’ve barely been an officer aboard the Enterprise for a month. Most people here have survived planets exploding and galactic terrorists trying to exterminate them.”

“And yet you wouldn’t have any other ship.” Baze winked.

“What can I say, I like a challenge.”

Cassian found himself smiling at the camaraderie, something in his heart pulsing with a dull ache at the memory of the two men from his universe. They may not have shared the same friendship or history, but it felt like their connection transcended worlds. He relaxed as they made their way over to the replicators to grab some breakfast and find a seat.

“Where’s Jyn?” Baze finally asked. “I would have thought you two would be attached at the hip what with being the only people from a whole other universe here.”

Cassian almost choked on his scrambled eggs. “I didn’t want to wake her up.” He managed.

Baze gave him a questioning look, one that made Cassian sure that his words sounded almost as bullshit as they actually were.

“Well we should arrange a date with all of us, including when Chirrut comes back from his mission. I want to meet this soldier version of Jyn Erso, see what your strange world has made of my favourite woman on the ship.”

“True, ours could have easily moved mountains if she set her mind to it, I would be curious to see what her counterpart can do in this situation.” Bodhi added, an undercurrent of sadness in his voice that he couldn’t quite hide. Cassian was once again reminded that two people were dead instead of them and his stomach gave a sick twist.

“I’m sure you’ll meet her sooner rather than later.” He muttered, hoping he’d get over his stupidity in that same amount of time.

Once they were done eating and the conversation had gone on for longer than an hour covering everything from Enterprise adventure stories to familial spats back on their home planet Earth, Baze stood up and stretched.

“Either of you feel like a bit of defence training at the Kirkbuster gym? Been a couple of days since I’d last had the chance to give a good whooping.”

Bodhi groaned and Cassian blinked “Kirkbuster?”

“Yeah, that’s the lower gym where Kirk and Spock usually do their insane fitness-and-spar sessions. Not sure who first coined the name but I like it.” Baze chuckled. “What do you say?”

Cassian, for lack of anything else to do and out of sheer curiosity, agreed.

It was a decision he almost immediately regretted.

It’s not that he couldn’t hold his own in a fight, he’d been a spy and fighter for most of his life. But it seemed like Baze truly was a master of the art. It was only when he’d landed on his back for the eighth time and after he’d been forced to take off his shirt due to the sheer amount of sweat glistening on his bruised muscles after dodging and jumping what seemed like fifty dozen punches and kicks, that he surely admitted defeat in the face of such an insurmountable force.

Bodhi, to his credit, seemed to take this as a normal occurrence, choosing instead to do some cardio training on the standing bikes without so much as a hint of amusement at Cassian’s inferiority. It was a small comfort.

“Gotta say, princess, you’re doing way better than the Cassian I remember.” Baze grinned, sweat running down his forehead. “I’m genuinely enjoying myself trying to land a hit on someone so quick.”

He lunged one more time and Cassian’s body went taut, ready to parry.

He never got the chance. Suddenly his attacker froze, his eyes wide, staring at something behind Cassian’s shoulder. And then he heard a quiet voice, laced with disbelief.

“Baze…”

He turned to find himself face-to-face with a wide-eyed Jyn and Cassian swallowed. Their eyes met. In that moment Cassian knew, that no amount of sobriety would ever save him.


	8. Don't Sweat It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh you absolute babes, thank you so much for the feedback! I've always struggled to write since perfectionism is a disease and it makes you rewrite a single page about fifty times, but the knowledge that someone on the other end is waiting to find out what happens next helps me get my shit together and learn to settle. 
> 
> This was a tough one, since I know where the story's going but there are a lot of things left to do before my own favourite juicy parts. I've also found myself reacquainting with all things Trek over the Holidays (freedom is detrimental, I should get back to actual work), so the background reading occasionally took over for the writing.
> 
> Anyway, enough rants! Hope you all had a great New Year's (I don't remember half of mine, but only in the best way), and that the moodiness of the winter months don't weigh you down too much (shoutout to everyone in the Northern hemisphere, I've been watching the sun set around 3-4pm for a few weeks)!

Jim woke to the quiet but insistent beeping of a personal communication on his PADD. Sluggishly, he lifted the screen before his bleary, sleep-deprived eyes and groaned. Galen Erso’s name flashed brightly at the top of his communiques and he didn’t need too much imagination to figure out what the infamous scientist’s concerns would be.

Their mapping mission in the quadrant was coming to an end as they waited for orders from Starfleet on how to proceed with the uncomfortable situation of Erso and Andor. Jim could still feel the bile rising in his throat every time he thought about how needlessly and quickly some of his best ground-ops officers were taken away. Over the years on the Enterprise he’d seen far too much death but it never got easier. No one could learn to console a grieving family, not really. Jim had met Galen Erso in the past, briefly, but even that was enough to make him dread having to speak to him in any way about the demise of his daughter or the woman that now bore her face. He typed out a reminder to arrange a meeting with Galen some time after his shift, reluctance weighing down each word.

He was halfway to the bridge when his eyes caught the shape of a lone woman, leaning against a wall, her eyes staring off into the distance. He paused for a second and almost laughed at how well this version of Jyn seemed to consistently pull off the rebellious, moody look even when she wasn’t necessarily focused on anything. He sobered, however, realising that not only was the alien woman alone but there was something about her stance that seemed off. He stopped.

Jyn appeared to notice him, but refused to acknowledge it. He was reminded of their first few conversations and how haunted and broken both her and Cassian had seemed. She was pretty, a woman Jim would definitely have made a move on in his younger years (nowadays he was far happier spending a night playing chess with Spock or burning through an excellent bottle of Scotch that Bones had nicked from Chekhov’s room), but her beauty was marred by the darkness of her eyes and the bags under them, as well as the tightness of her stance which spoke of a wounded, defensive animal rather than one of inviting charm.

“How was last night?” he asked, for lack of anything else to say. “I hope you didn’t come away thinking the Russians pretty much gave birth to the Universe and all the good that ever existed in it.”

He smiled, but his light-hearted comment barely elicited a twitch. He decided to try again.

“How’s Cassian holding up? I haven’t really--”

Before he could finish his thought, Jyn’s eyes shot up to meet his and he realised he’d hit the nail on the head. Or he’d just smashed the hammer straight into his own fingers full-force.

“Don’t you have better things to do, Captain James Kirk?” she hissed. He was stunned by her aggression.

“Look, I know it’s tough to be in your situation. Hell, I can’t even begin to imagine it. I mean, this morning I had to… ” he stopped himself before he mentioned Galen Erso. God only knew this was not the moment to bring up her dead-yet-now-living father. “… nevermind. We’re not the bad guys here, I’m trying my best to keep the Federation from carting you off to some lab where they’d dissect everything about you and your universe. I swear that if I could help you out or bring back our Jyn and Cassian, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, none of us have the luxury of clear answers, so you’ll have to make do with what you’ve got.”

As he spoke, Jim felt her defiance recede and be replaced instead with surprise. She looked up at him and stood straighter.

“I just… I don’t know what my place here- _anywhere_ \- is.” She whispered. “Everything I have is gone and I just can’t… I can’t start again. I don’t think I ever got to start in the first place, not really. I need something to do, to help me forget.”

Jim sighed, feeling ridiculously underqualified. He may have been Captain for four long years, but he was still young, still felt like he was the last person to be entrusted with knowing how to handle things, how to protect all these people.

“We all feel like that sometimes, trust me.”

_Your father was the captain of a starship for twelve minutes. I dare you to do better._

“I still have absolutely no idea why I’m trusting you to be honest. I know you and Cassian can do good, I just do. So please, all I ask is that you trust us too, that you would expect me to do the best I can, and Uhura, and Spock and everyone else aboard this ship. I’m tired of losing lives so maybe I’m just glad to at least have gained two.”

Jyn was now staring at him. He rubbed the back of his neck, but she was listening intently and he could feel the gears turning in her head.

“Look, I gotta go do my job, but if you need a break, go to the gym. Sweating off the stress always helps me.” He shrugged. “If anybody on the ship is bothering you, you can come talk to me any time. Or Bones- the man’s taken a liking to you for whatever crazy reason his sunburnt Southern brain made up.”

With that, Jim felt he was done. It was only so much he could handle for one morning, as much as he wanted to help. He was about to turn away when she shifted, pushing herself away from the wall.

“Where is the gym?”

\---

Jyn fumed, burning with embarrassment. She had not meant to stop in the hallway, to find herself slowly sinking into the depths of uncertainty that had plagued her since Scarif. She couldn’t understand what had made her suddenly feel so lost, so small, but it had been overwhelming. Jim’s words helped, but only to make her snap out of the darkness in favour of action- there was nothing he’d told her that she wasn’t aware of.

Well, perhaps it was the kindness that had helped. It reminded her of the night before, of her contentment, her feeling of purpose. But what good was having a purpose if she could never achieve it, stuck in this bizarre realm? What good was friendship if all she aimed to do was to leave it behind? _The only person that had felt the burn of blaster bolts, seen the white skull-helmets of the Storm Troopers and the sneers of men who were less-than-men, who razed entire planets to nothingness, the only person that had… the only one was Cassian._

But Cassian wasn’t there. He’d left her, like everyone else.

No, she shouldn’t be angry or disappointed. Cassian was probably exploring, enjoying his newfound freedom.

_Who am I to deny him this?_

And yet she missed him, inexplicably and infuriatingly. It was so stupid, so ridiculous: that she couldn’t spend a single day on her own here, that she needed him to calm her as though she couldn’t take care of herself.

He obviously didn’t need her like she needed him. She wouldn’t- couldn’t- be weak. After all, she was going to find a way home, to blow up the Death Star, to slaughter the men that took her father away. And she was going to do it alone. It was a thought that finally pushed his face out of her mind and she clenched her fists, revelling in the sensation of determination that _finally_ flooded her mind.

She followed Jim’s directions to after grabbing a bite from the replicator, avoiding the mess hall until one of her new-found companions could shield her from onlookers (everyone she’d met the night before was still on Alpha-shift). It was calming to have something to do, the notion of training and sweat putting her mind into the robotic trance of her youth. She’d discovered that she’d been provided with comfortable clothes for the occasion too- a cropped black top and some loose training trousers and she slipped them on with relief.

When she finally found it, she stepped into the gym through its wide sliding doors confidently, yearning to feel the familiar burn of her muscles.

And then her world crashed to a violent stop.

“Baze…”

Before her was the face of a dead man, one she’d often seen in her dreams during the past week. He was different, yet entirely the same. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t--

“Jyn.” She heard, her mind not yet caught up with her. “Jyn!”

And then there was Cassian and she could almost feel her anxiety deflating. He was red in the face and sweat poured from his hairline and his _chest_ , littered with scars, tanned with the light of a sun she’d never known, small hairs lining its middle and she could almost count them with a clarity and focus she’d never known she possessed.

And then she was in control again, at least as much as she could muster. She considered the scene before her as three men approached her and _Oh,_ Bodhi _._ It was obvious that Cassian and… whoever this Baze-lookalike was, had been sparring or something along those lines. The ghost of Bodhi she had not noticed, but he was also covered in sweat. She found herself frozen.

“Jyn Erso?” the new Baze spoke, grinning and it was as if she was seeing double- the man in her memories and the clean-cut one standing before her. “I’ve heard a lot about you. I can’t wait to hear it all in your own words.”

Bodhi just smiled, almost shyly. He looked curious but stayed silent, apparently sizing her up. She could barely believe it was him were it not for the almost improbable air surrounding the entire event. As for Cassian…

Cassian stood between the two, his expression almost unreadable. His eyes seemed to bore into hers with something desperate, something almost like… fear? Possession? She couldn’t place it, but it was making her head spin so she looked away, suddenly feeling lost as to what she should be doing with her face, her hands, her entire body.

“What… who are you?” she asked.

“I am officer Baze Malbus.” Said the ghost. “And this is officer Bodhi Rook. Cassian, I suppose, you are more than familiar with.”

Baze was most definitely enjoying himself. He’d paused for a second, startled by the appearance of this Jyn-lookalike, but a few seconds in the presence of both other-worlders was enough to tell him that he would have a lot to meddle in, in the best of ways. Now, though, it was clear that Jyn Erso of the Force-world would have to be eased into the new reality the same way that Cassian had been, before anything else could be done.

Cassian still hadn’t said anything, but Jyn could see him wrestling with himself, desperate to speak and yet unwilling to open his mouth. She found herself wishing it would be just the two of them- she wasn’t ready for all that this universe had decided to hurl at her, she just needed _him_ to explain it to her. But life wasn’t so simple.

“Are you…” she struggled to find the right word. “… the mirrors?”

“They are.” Cassian finally mumbled and his voice was slightly hoarse. Her gaze immediately went to meet his. “They are the Baze and Bodhi of this universe. There is also a Chirrut, but he’s not on the ship at the moment.”

“We ain’t no mirrors, kid.” Baze grumbled. “I’m as real as the two of you, as the rest of this ship. I thought we’d gone over this already. This multiple-universe crap is just too complicated. Anyway, it’s great to meet you too. Care to join us for the morning spar before I set up my next interrogation?”

“Be nice, Baze.” Bodhi chided. He smiled at Jyn. “I’ve only just met Cassian myself, I know how disconcerting it can be. We can leave the introductions for later, if you’d like to join us for the morning.”

“I…” Jyn couldn’t quite grasp the reality before her. She was saved by Cassian, who jumped in before she could make up her mind.

“I’m sorry!”

She closed her mouth in confusion, once again choosing to examine her companion’s face rather than confronting the uncertainty in her thoughts. Cassian cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated more carefully “For leaving you behind this morning. I just didn’t want to wake you up. You should spar with me- with us. It really helps get your mind off things.”

She considered it for a moment, still unwilling to join in the insanity that the world had presented her with but finally caved, realising that nothing would become clear for a while, not without at least pretending it would.

“Fine.” She said, her usual defiant tone back in its entirety. “Fine, let’s spar. I need to get back into shape for when we… when I… to be able to beat the Empire, even if it’s just by punching them in the face.”

 She could see Cassian’s shoulders sag, but it was unclear whether the sentiment was relief or resignation. She saw Baze’s eyes glint and heard Bodhi groan.

“Great, then you two have a go at it while I have a go at officer Rook here. He’s been needing a good throw or two for a while now.” Baze said.

She was relieved to know that she wouldn’t have to deal with the unfamiliar, but a hand-to-hand match with Cassian also intrigued her- she didn’t know if he could handle someone like her who had been trained as thoroughly her whole life. He’d proven himself more than capable on Scarif and on Jedha and she felt her lungs contract at the memory of him dodging Krennic’s blaster shots _but not fast enough, now he’s falling, probably dead, but she needs to keep going, finish the mission, don’t let yourself grieve, not yet_.

Cassian, for his part, seemed about to protest, but then stood up straighter, his face an empty slate and she frowned. She could tell that he was wrestling with some inner discomfort, but she didn’t know what it was or how to ask him about it.

“Don’t go easy on me.” He muttered, when she joined him in the marked area and she could see the sheen of sweat on his skin again. Jyn felt the breath catch in her throat as she counted the infinite scars littering his body. “I deserve every punch. For everything.”

\---

 “Captain, an urgent message from Admiral Chandra.”

Jim frowned, shooting Spock a concerned look. Nensi Chandra was not usually one to contact the Enterprise, busy as he was dealing with more local bureaucracy within the confines of the Federation’s inner circles. They were currently about as far from familiar space as any ship had ever come.

“Put him on-screen.”

The holographic image of Chandra’s face flickered into view and Jim immediately leaned forward in his chair. He didn’t know the man that well- the last time Jim had directly dealt with the admiral had been during his Academy hearing and needless to say, that had not been a pleasant experience for anyone.

“Captain Kirk.” The man on the other end of the Galaxy nodded his head politely, but the unease in his countenance was apparent. “There has been an incident in Quadrant 448. The _USS Salcombe_ seems to have disappeared moments after sending out a distress signal.”

Kirk paled. The _Salcombe_ had borrowed some of his officers a few weeks back in order to have more hands helping them with the collection of scientific samples. The Captain of the ship, Greta Matulenaite, was a good friend of his, a steadfast and intelligent woman and one of very few he could genuinely enjoy a conversation with at Starfleet. He did a quick calculation in his head- they should be only a couple of hours away from the _Enterprise_ at top warp, assuming everything had gone smoothly until the distress signal.

“Understood.” Kirk responded, attempting to keep a level head. “I would ask permission to go in and attempt to assist them, but I get the feeling that’s exactly why you’d called.”

Admiral Chandra sighed, suddenly looking even older than he’d had previously.

“Yes, that is precisely why I called. You are the nearest ship to their last known location, by quite a margin. It’s a controversial decision to send you in alone, but I have faith in you, Kirk.” He paused for e moment before looking straight at the Captain’s eyes. “My son is on that ship. Please do your best to keep him safe. I know it’s not fair to put his life above the others, but if you’ll ever have children, I’m sure you’ll understand.”

“I’ll do everything within my power.” Kirk said seriously.

“Then good luck, I’m sending you the coordinates now.”


	9. The Naked Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahaha I'm not even trying to excuse myself for how this isn't even really ever getting updated. At all. What are words. I'm flying out to do an internship somewhere far far away tomorrow, will probably be busy but hey- office ours make for great creativity sessions. 
> 
> The plot might be moving?
> 
> Thanks for all the lovely feedback <3

Jyn eyed the man before her curiously, stretching her muscles in preparation for the abuse she would surely put them through in the coming hour. Cassian’s gaze wandered around the room like a caged animal, not once meeting her own despite them standing opposite each other. She couldn’t deny that it made her insides wilt, a powerful and inexplicable sense of disappointment growing by the minute. It bothered her, she realised, that he’d left without her in the morning and his current distancing was only making her feel more isolated. Had she done something wrong? Had they not grown to support each other during their time in the medbay, the lone survivors, the aliens in an alien world?

Jyn swallowed the feeling and closed her eyes. _Anger_. It was anger that was beginning to brush at the edges of her consciousness. She was a soldier and she had dealt with every situation on her own in the past. She had seen comrades die before her eyes a hundred times over and never had she even blinked, not since she was a little girl and her mother’s body hit the ground. She had become soft during the last few weeks, allowing something like a sense of closeness to her comrades on Scarif. This was why Baze and Chirrut and Bodhi’s empty eyes haunted her dreams where no others ever had. This was why she felt the need to have Cassian around, to share with him her thoughts and fears, to have someone to lean on. She’d never needed anyone to lean on before. _This is a mistake_. He was just another pawn in the game of shadow and death, he’d abandon her as soon as it was convenient and she was a fool to have thought differently.

_I’m not used to people sticking around when things go bad._

_Welcome home._

“Well,” she said coolly, bending her knees in anticipation. “Shall we?”

Cassian’s eyes finally snapped up to meet hers. She saw the mounting confusion at her sudden change of tone and something in her fiery wall of anger flickered.

“Oh hell, looks like you’re in for a proper thrashing.” Baze’s whistle echoed from the next sparring pad. He and Bodhi had paused to have a warm up and were currently grinning at Cassian, who suddenly looked like he’d rather be back on the beach with the approaching wall of death rather than facing Jyn. It wasn’t fear though. She couldn’t quite read his emotions.

“Yes.” Cassian said to her and then lunged.

To his credit, she hadn’t expected him to be so forward in the attack, but she didn’t have much time to think about it, her instincts reacting faster than her mind. She dodged and spun on her heel, recognising the familiar Echani sparring form. Her retaliation was swift as she aimed a punch at the side of his stomach but was stopped just as effectively.

Their dance of nimble attacks and parries continued for a few moments and Jyn realised she was well-matched, despite the other man’s tiredness after fighting Baze. She also realised she didn’t feel angry anymore. There was an old excitement building in the back of her mind, the joy of the dance, of being on equal footing with someone. (And something else.)

She caught Cassian’s forearm in her grasp and grinned, using his weight to bring him down on his back with her knee on his chest. He hit the floor with a thump and a gasp and she almost winced in sympathy- _almost_.

“Well played.” He rasped, evidently out of breath. His eyes found hers and she realised that she hadn’t moved in far too long, her knee still resting comfortably against his scarred chest, her fingers hanging onto the pulse in his arm. Her body flared, every surface suddenly hyper aware, every action intensified- blood rushing, breath hitching and her entire being still as a deer in headlights. The entire experience lasted less than the blink of an eye- less than the time she had to register it before suddenly she was being flung upwards.

Cassian had used his strength to throw her sideways, using her lack of balance to free his arm and to capture hers instead, pinning her firmly to the ground.

“Don’t lose focus.” He said seriously, but there was a glint of something else in his eyes. While the momentary explosion of Force-only-knows what had disappeared as soon as it appeared, she now found herself very consciously aware of his battle-worn form leaning over her. _Oh_. Well, he was an attractive man, she could never fault herself for noticing. But she was always good at overcoming such _things_ when the situation called for it.

Jyn hooked her leg around his and brought him tumbling down again as she quickly slipped out from his loosened grasp and rolled back up to her feet. Cassian caught himself mid-fall and suddenly they were back in the dance.

Jim had been right- all of her negativity flew straight out the window, even the anger she’d worked up just minutes ago. There was nothing like sweat to clear the mind and she was burning with it, a strange kind of ecstasy, her breaths coming quick and sharp as she barely managed to avoid a kick. Her next move was too slow- far too slow, it was clear that her days in the medbay had done her training no service. Cassian kicked her leg and then she was on the ground, breathing heavily. She felt his hand on her shoulder and it was accompanied by goose bumps which she quickly drove away with sheer willpower.

“I think that might be enough for me today.” Cassian gasped out and she nodded, turning around to lean on her hands as she tried to catch her breath. She noticed how quickly he jumped away, choosing to plop down a small distance further from her. She felt her unease about his behaviour begin to creep up again.

“Already done, princess?” Baze chided, pausing his own assault, though Bodhi’s face spoke of a million answered prayers. Jyn was about to open her mouth in protest when Cassian gave her a meaningful look. “He means me, not you.”

She stared for a moment then stifled a sudden hysterical giggle, more due to shock than anything else. The sheer bizarreness of the entire situation suddenly hit her like a blaster bolt. They were alive, with strangers that were copies of their dead companions, having a sparring session in a gym on a ship that could never have existed in the universe she had been born into. It was almost too much.

“Yeah we’re done.” Cassian sighed out and finally, _finally_ looked her straight in the eyes and there was a warmth there that Jyn had been looking for, had secretly been craving. The warmth of a companion, of someone she could turn to when it got as overwhelming as it currently had.

“Well then let’s get ourselves a well-deserved shower.” Baze nodded. Jyn managed to tear her eyes away from Cassian only to catch Bodhi’s wink which- well, there was something to think about, right there. She pushed herself up to her feet.

“Why did you say you deserved it?” she asked and Cassian paused mid-step “Why did you say you deserved every punch?”

There was a breathless, uncomfortable silence before he replied and it was quiet, almost too quiet for her to hear.

“I’ve pulled the trigger without question. I’m very good at washing blood out of my clothes. I saw your father through my gun sight, Jyn, and I held you in my arms knowing that I had led to your death, regardless of whether it happened or not. I don’t think punches are going to be enough.”

Cassian didn’t wait for her reply before walking away and she wasn’t sure she would have known what to say.

\\\\\

_“Attention all crew, we have received news of the disappearance of the USS Salcombe shortly after they sent out a distress signal. We have been given orders to investigate and, if required, assist them. As of now we are setting course for Quadrant 448 and we should arrive at the location within 3.68 hours. All rescue crew must be at their stations at this time. More information will follow.”_

Cassian’s eyes met Bodhi’s as they exchanged a worried glance. They’d been on their way to leave the changing rooms as the announcement rang out through the ship and he felt his stomach twist. This was the first hint of real danger that he’d sensed in this new universe and his lack of familiarity with it only served to heighten the sense of foreboding.

“The Salcombe…” Baze’s voice trailed off.

“That’s the ship Chirrut was stationed on.” Bodhi’s eyes widened. “We were meant to rendezvous with them next month to pick up our crewmembers.”

Cassian felt worry shake his core, like a steely weight rolling through his insides to the bottom of his feet, planting him in place. He had become too complacent, too sure in this world’s peacefulness to predict that war and bloodshed could follow him even here. And now the empty eyes of his companions looked up to meet him again from the sands of Scarif, Chirrut prominent amongst them.

“What’s going to happen?” he asked, keeping his voice level as he considered his options. Should he fight, as he’d promised Kirk, to save people from a universe that held nothing for him? What use was it, to lose a life so insanely spared?

 _To save another_ , his mind answered _, to wash the blood off my hands, to help someone in need as I would have for the Resistance. No life is better or worse, not even that of a Stormtrooper. I’ve always known that but I’ve always killed regardless. Maybe it’s time to atone._

“Well there’s no way of knowing ‘til we get there.” Bodhi answered, frowning. “Best case scenario it’s just some technical difficulties they needed another ship for, but the most likely thing is it’s something hostile and weird. The Enterprise is kind of famous for attracting trouble like that.”

“I need to go.”

Both Baze and Bodhi’s heads shot up in unison at Cassian’s sudden statement.

“Wha—where?” Baze asked, his brow furrowing with suspicion.

“To help.”

Before either of his companions could respond, Cassian turned to the door and strode through it, intent on confronting Ji—

_Smack_

His forehead slammed into an unspecified object with a deafening sound. As he staggered back he heard an exclamation in a voice that sounded vaguely familiar:

“Kriffing hell, watch where you’re going you lumbering Nerf Herder!“

He saw Jyn pause, her eyes widening as she realised who she’d smashed into before glazing over with familiar coolness.

“Cassian,” she gave him an almost-glare. “Just because it’s _you_ , don’t expect me to suddenly start forgiving the lump on my forehead.”

Cassian’s heart jumped at the word ‘you’ but he steadied himself, already too focused on the task at hand. Their sparring session had done little to tame the growing simmer in the pit of his stomach centering around Jyn Erso, but it had subdued it enough for him to be able to think straight. He was, after all, hopefully, beyond just his sex-drive although the rest of his emotions were a different issue.

“I’m going to talk to Jim.”

The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could think them through and he winced as Jyn’s frown deepened.

“I was about to ask you about that.” She said. “What in the Galaxy’s name is going on here and what are we going to do about it?”

“We are going to do as the Captain commands.”

Cassian almost jumped because _why did people keep appearing out of nowhere?_ His eyes met the stone-cold brown ones of the Enterprise’s resident Vulcan, who had apparently just rounded the corner in order to give him a heart attack. Spock nodded in greeting.

“And what does the Captain command?” Jyn asked wearily.

“As of this time, we do not have sufficient information on the condition or the circumstances of the Salcombe or its crew. Per Jim’s orders, we are to wait until we have reached our destination before we decide what is to be done next. All rescue crew as well as defensive measures are to be readied in the case of a swift retaliation.” Spock said methodically and Cassian felt the Vulcan’s eyes boring all the way through to the back of his skull. “I can sense your restlessness, Captain Andor, but you do not have the training or the experience or the trust of the crew, which in this case makes you more of a liability than any potential assistance in the matter.”

“I won’t sit back and watch people get killed or injured when I can help!”

“If we are lucky,” at this the Vulcan’s mouth twitched upwards ever so slightly, as though he were enjoying an inside joke. “Then there will be no need to worry about injury or death in this entire matter. I would recommend that both yourself and Ms Erso stay out of the way of any operations that we may undertake throughout the episode, preferably in your quarters. While I do not doubt the sincerity of your will, having seen your mind, I agree with the Captain that there is very little you can do to aid us.”

Cassian swallowed down a response, his emotions raw with disappointment. Of course, everything Spock said made sense. Despite that, the excitement, the _need_ for redemption, was crumbling around him. He hadn’t realised how much it had given him sudden purpose, to think of saving people, of proving himself to be a better man to himself (and to Jyn).

“Well I for one don’t plan to get in your way, unless whatever’s out there decides to come to me.” Jyn said, folding her arms. “And I don’t plan to die just yet, not this soon after Scarif.”

“A commendable goal.” Spock nodded, his eyes twinkling in his stoic expression. “And now that the issue is settled, I was rather hoping you would both join me for lunch as I have not yet had the pleasure of discussing the universe you’ve originated from in nearly as much detail as I would have liked to. I find the entire concept fascinating. I also believe that Dr. McCoy was inquiring after yourselves later, so perhaps it might serve as a good distraction from the impending mission and your lack of participation in its outcome.”

Cassian sighed, suddenly feeling incredibly tired. Perhaps entertaining Spock’s curiosity would be the best decision for now. Perhaps the Salcombe would be perfectly alright regardless of his involvement. He could not remember the last time he had felt quite so.. _out of place_. He was about to reply when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Cassian looked up, surprised, meeting Jyn’s eyes as she gave him a reassuring squeeze and there was understanding there. She felt it too, he knew- the lack of purpose, the utter helplessness of it all. She knew and she understood and she was there with him. And he realised that he was so _lucky_ , so wholly dependent on this soldier, this woman who had miraculously changed his life in the span of a few days, that he did not understand how he’d done without her in the past. It would be fine, it would _have_ to be. Because she depended on him and he’d follow her to another universe still and then the next. Because Jyn Erso had wormed her way into the soft underbelly of his hardened heart and Cassian knew he wasn’t strong enough to rip her out of it.

So instead he smiled at her, delighted at the surprised look on her face and excused himself to say goodbye to Baze and Bodhi. Then, as he re-joined Spock and Jyn in the corridor, he found himself falling in-step with her stride. _It’s going to hurt_ , he thought to himself, _when she finally pushes me away. But for now… I can have this._

\\\\\

“There she is Captain, the Salcombe.”

Jim eyed the screen with undisguised curiosity. “Is it just… floating there?”

“Most of the ship’s functionality appears to be deactivated, although some areas still retain life support. We sense about 50 life forms scattered throughout those parts of the ship. Didn’t the Salcombe have a crew of about 200?” Sulu replied, frowning.

“It did.” Jim lowered his head. This was not looking promising. All he could hope for was that whatever happened to the crew was not coming back for the rest of them, or the Enterprise. “Have you attempted to engage in communications? There must be some way of contacting the people left aboard.”

“They are not responding to any of our attempts.” Nyota reported. “It appears as though our only option is to retrieve the survivors.”

“I wouldn’t trust beaming them aboard, in case they turn out to be something other than our crew.” Jim muttered darkly, years of past mistakes soaking every syllable. “Get the rescue ops ready, make sure they’re wearing the hazmats. Myself and McCoy will be joining them in case there’s something to investigate.”

“Wait, Captain.” Nyota looked up, squeezing her earpiece as close to her ear as physically possible. “I think I hear some sort of transmission from the ship. It’s really quiet, like it’s somewhere far from the mike.”

“What? What is it?”

“It… it sounds like country music.”

“ _What_?”


	10. The Naked Time II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy August! Somehow I'm updating. Whoa. 
> 
> I recommend getting your tetanus shot when in Malaysia because apparently, cut infections are not a fun thing- best keep them nice and mild and non-limb-threatening.
> 
> Also I've realised I despise having to work with things that have 972 combinations of quantum numbers so the rule is: don't touch molecules, kids. 
> 
> Sorry, it's been a very long month. Hope y'all enjoy what my brain does in response!

“Goddamnit Erso, would you sit still for just a minute.”

“If you hadn’t stabbed me with one of those things first time we met, maybe I wouldn’t feel the compelling need to never touch it again!”

Jyn’s irises flared as she gripped the edge of the table. She’d grown to like McCoy during her short stay on the Enterprise- that first glass of whisky was a symbols of truce and had reminded her more of paternal-if-slightly-gruff Saw Guerrera than she’d ever expected to encounter again. However, she’d stayed true to her word of not forgiving or forgetting the hypo he’d knocked her out with on their first fateful meeting. She could think of few things she despised more in this universe- the deceptively small size and hissing, popping noise as they dispensed some unknown substance into her bloodstream. It made her shiver at the mere thought.

“Look you’re obviously having an allergic reaction to something you ate on-board at some point- most likely the chocolate- and we’re lucky that so far it’s only a rash. Now let me get some antihistamines into your system before we find out what else you happen to be allergic to- the hard way!”

“I’ll take my chances.” She muttered through gritted teeth as McCoy sighed and turned to her companion.

“Mr. Andor, any help with this infuriating creature?”

Cassian didn’t even bother responding, busy as he was trying to contain his laughter at their antics. Jyn gave him a pointed stare followed by an imploring look: _Make this crazy medic leave me alone_.

“I’m afraid this ‘infuriating creature’ is known to never listen to reason.” Cassian replied as Jyn huffed. McCoy only sighed again, finally giving up and putting the hypo back in its case.

“Fine then, let’s see who’s laughing when your throat’s all blown up and you can’t breathe because of some Andorian apples. Oh, wait, that won’t be me because it’ll be _my_ job to save your damn life! I have better things to do than hunt after you and Jim twenty-four-seven.”

“I don’t need to be looked after lik—“ Jyn began but was cut off by a loud beeping from McCoy’s communicator.

“ _Bones, I need you on the bridge. We’ve found the Salcombe but it doesn’t look too good. How many hazmats have we got d’you think?”_

McCoy’s face turned from exasperated to serious in a flash as he considered Jim’s question.

“Enough. You’re not thinking of sending an army there, are you?”

“ _Nah I was just curious. Get Christine to prep the medbay, something tells me we might find more than we bargained for on this ship.”_

“Jim, we _never_ get a bargain. We get a slap in the face from the in-laws and a burnt apple pie at best. As your doctor I’m ordering you to start being the pessimist you should be. On my way.”

McCoy took a single purposeful step before Cassian grabbed his arm. “Wait, what’s going on, what do we have to do?”

The doctor frowned, his expression terse as he glanced between the two other-worlders.

“You two’ll stay here on the ship and stay out of the way. If Jim’s this worried about what they found then it’s something serious. You’re both still midway through recovering from the whole… Scare-if ordeal or whatever that place was, as far as I’m concerned, and that makes you both a liability.”

“ _Liab_ —“ Jyn began, affronted but McCoy cut her off.

“This is not a war. You are not soldiers. This is not a case of having every able-bodied man out there to help, it’s an investigation into an unknown incident. Now relax and try to not break anything while I go and satisfy our leading madman’s wishes.”

With this he turned and strode out through the door, mumbling into his comm about medbay preparations. Cassian clenched his fists.

“Cassian…” Jyn sighed. “He’s the third person to tell us to stay away. Why don’t we just _stay away_ then? They’re all right about us being close to useless in this situation, we don’t know anything about anything and we’re just getting in the way.”

“But what if something goes wrong, if they need us?”

“Then we’ll deal with it.”

She took a step forward and, feeling incredibly bold, placed a hand on his cheek. “You don’t need to atone for what you did in the past by rushing into danger now, Cassian. You’re a good man.”

She expected him to step back or to argue with her, but he closed his eyes and she could see his breath catch in his throat. Confused, she moved to pull her hand away but he placed his own over hers and sighed.

“You…”

Then he shook his head, letting go of her hand and opening his eyes. “… nevermind. Let’s go try out that ‘chess’ game that Spock talked about. We’ve got nothing better to do in the mean time. You’re right.”

She felt her confusion at his behaviour mounting but only shrugged. “Sure. I was going to go over some archives later today but it does seem like a useful exercise in strategy.”

“I get the feeling that Spock would describe the most pointless fun ball-game as a useful exercise, but in this case I agree.” Cassian smiled and Jyn found herself counting the wrinkles around his eyes. Six.

The back of her hand burned where moments ago she’d felt his fingers.

\\\\\

This is how they found themselves, in the rec-room, surrounded by the few officers not on active call for the next impending disaster. Once they’d finally managed to set up the chess pieces, Jim’s voice echoed through the ship again:

“ _An investigation team including myself, Dr. McCoy and Lieutenant Uhura will be beaming aboard the USS Salcombe in the next few minutes. All we know as of now is that there appear to be 50 life-forms aboard the ship and while certain areas retain life-support and no clear damage to the ship is visible, we appear to be unable to communicate with the survivors. I want everyone on shift A to be on high alert and ready to assist in case of any emergencies. I’m leaving Commander Spock as acting Captain during my absence. That is all.”_

Cassian and Jyn looked at each other before glancing back down at the chess pieces on the board. Cassian could feel his anxiety rising although luckily, Jyn was distracting enough a companion to keep his thoughts away from his own uselessness.

He could still feel her hand on his cheek and it burned every time he thought about it. For a second he’d imagined… leaning down just a little, just to see if he could taste her spirit and defiance on her lower lip. He’d barely caught himself on time, only to see the confusion in her eyes. It was enough for him to stifle the sudden urge but not enough to let go of her touch. He would take as much as she allowed him to have, even gestures made in friendship.

“So… it says here that the white pieces make the first move.” Jyn muttered, startling him again out of his thoughts. “So you’d better start.”

“Er, let me have a look at the rulebook again.”

It took them about twenty minutes to figure out a slow but steady pace for the gameplay. Cassian found himself absorbed so much in the strategy that he pretty much forgot about his surroundings and the situation developing on the other ship. Jyn seemed just as captivated by the game, if slightly more aggressive with her tactics than him, more impatient. They were relatively evenly matched in their inexperience and their aptitude to adapt to the rules of the game although Cassian might have felt he was doing a little better what with investing the time to plan ahead more than she did.

They were so consumed by the game, in fact, that they barely noticed the commotion on the other side of the room a good twenty seconds after the first shout rang out.

“Help! It’s Seska! She just got caught in some weird transporter beam and vanished!”

Cassian caught Jyn’s worried look as they both made their way to where a distraught woman with strange markings on her forehead was crying, already surrounded by many that had been enjoying themselves in the room.

“What happened?” asked Jyn as they neared the commotion. “What does she mean by ‘caught in a transporter beam?’”

She didn’t need to wait for an answer however, because as soon as she said it one of the blue Andorian men standing in front of her began to shimmer and then suddenly, with a flash, disappeared. Some people around them gasped and shouted in horror.

“What’s going on?”

“How are they locking onto our signals like this?”

Before their panic could reach breaking point, it was interrupted by the concerned thrum of Spock’s voice over the speakers:

“ _Attention all crew, we seem to have lost contact with some of the members of the away team and are having difficulties communicating with the rest. It appears as though someone on the other ship is—_ “

Cassian never got to hear about what the other ship was doing, however, because suddenly there were flashes of light dancing in front of his eyes and he could feel a strange twisting in the pit of his stomach, like he’d eaten something that didn’t completely agree with the idea. His panicked eyes caught Jyn’s. He saw her open her mouth in terror and begin to reach for him. Then he blinked.

…And his eyes opened to be met with almost complete darkness. The jolt of the transition was familiar to him from only one past experience- his arrival to the New Universe from Scarif. He now understood the meaning of the words behind its explanation.

_I’ve been beamed somewhere._

That, however, turned out to not be the most important bit of information for him to pay attention to because within a half-second of opening his eyes to a new environment he also realised that he _couldn’t breathe_.

Panic tore through his body properly now and he focused on taming it, painfully aware how his rapidly beating heart was asking for even more oxygen than usual. His eyes slowly adjusted to the incredibly dim light and he began to recognise the outlines of his surroundings. For a moment he’d dared hope that he was back at the Rebellion base, thrown through the same gates that had taken him away from familiar ground, but he realised now that he was likely in another ship like the Enterprise- the corridor on the bridge level, to be precise.

 _It’s probably the Salcombe_ , he thought as he stumbled forward trying to figure out a way to find a supply of air before he collapsed. _Something is beaming people to the almost abandoned ship._

His hands fumbled with one of the First-Aid locker doors in the corridor as he forced it open hoping against hope for—

_Aha!_

Luckily it was on one of the most well-stocked levels of the ship what with it being the one housing the command room. The locker was stuffed with equipment and amongst the defibrillators and hypos he noticed a portable oxygen tank with a mask he could put over his face. Cassian inhaled the sterile-smelling air truly like a drowning man would.

Once he’d adjusted the device on his hip and made sure the mask was on properly, he investigated the instructions that came with it. He should have enough air for at least two hours and he definitely didn’t plan on staying there that long, so there was no reason to lug around the second tank that was still sitting in the locker. He had to figure out a way to turn on the air supply throughout the ship and find out where he was.

 _Well_ , he thought grimly, _you wanted to be where the action was. Now deal with it, Cassian Andor._

His best bet was trying to get into the command room aboard the ship. If the layout was similar to the Enterpise- and he’d studied it meticulously- then he should be somewhere not too far away. He just had to hope he’d find a way in once he got there.

He turned to round a corner of the corridor and then two things happened in quick succession: the first was accidentally kicking two very human-shaped objects on the ground before him. It took his mind a second to realise that what he was looking at were dead bodies, curled around each other in a heart-breaking display of emotional rigor mortis.

The second was an all-too-familiar flash of light and the sudden appearance of—

“Spock?” he exclaimed in disbelief, his voice muffled by the oxygen mask.

The commander’s eyes widened as they focused on Cassian but then the rebel Captain realised that his new companion needed oxygen in almost the same way he did. While Spock did not show it too much outwardly, it was hard not to notice the sudden tension in his neck or the bulging eyeballs that signalled his severe discomfort

“Damn…” he muttered as he signalled to Spock to follow him to the First Aid box. Luckily the half-Vulcan was quick enough to understand his plan and grabbed the very convenient second oxygen tank from its perch. Cassian wondered briefly what they’d do if someone else were to appear in the corridor.

“Captain Andor.” Spock addressed him finally, far too calmly for the sort of situation they’d suddenly found themselves in. “It appears as though we have a rather unusual situation on our hands. I hope you will join me in an attempt to correct it.”


End file.
